


Three Years to get Home

by Prisca512



Series: 3Years [2]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, M/M, Prison, implied infidelity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-11
Updated: 2013-11-10
Packaged: 2017-12-23 04:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/921879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prisca512/pseuds/Prisca512
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "Three Years Beginning at Daylight". suggested reading that one first as this picks up right after the end of "Daylight".  Jessica gave Mike a choice, go to prison alone or she'd ruin Harvey.  Now, it's how do they live those three years?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

*Chapter One*

“Where have you been and why haven't you answered any of my calls or texts?”  
Donna was shooting daggers at Harvey as he walked through his office door.

“It's after 1o'clock in the afternoon and I've had to do damage control with client appointments all while not knowing what the hell is going on with you.” Donna had followed Harvey right on his heels into his office.

  
“Hmm, thought you knew everything, Donna, losing your touch?” eyebrows raised as he looked through the stack of messages on his desk.

“Jessica has been asking when you'd be in, although she didn't seem too surprised you weren't here. And Louis has been stalking by every hour. And Mike....”

“What about Mike?” that had gotten Harvey's attention and he put all his attention onto Donna which made her stop and take a step back.

“Mike's not here either. Rumor mill has it he's been fired and you weren't here to correct it. Louis said Jessica fired him, the associates think you finally fired him. What's going on Harvey? I haven't had time to sort it all out since I've been busy covering for your sorry ass this morning”

“I want to meet with all my clients.” Harvey had made it around his desk and sat heavily in his chair.

“Harvey, we did that with all of them a few weeks ago when other clients were leaving the firm. No one is leaving you Harvey.”

“I want to meet with them again. Start with our highest billables clients and work your way down. I need about an hour with each as soon as possible.”

“Ok, are you going to tell me what this is about?”

Donna finally got a good look at Harvey her eyes went wide. Sitting in the chair across from his desk she asked,

“It's Mike, what happened?”

Harvey glanced out his office before returning his gaze to Donna.

“Jessica blackmailed him. She used me to get to him and now he's on his way to prison to try and save me and my career.” Harvey's voice was soft but full of pain as he rested forward on his arms and slowly bowed his head.

“Oh Harvey. Why...”

“He'd already set it up without me knowing. I didn't find out until this morning, he was already gone. I got to the Precinct just as they were transferring him out to Rikers. I didn't even get to talk to him.”

“So what have you been doing?”

“Shopping.”

“WHAT? You've been shopping.... Did retail therapy help you through this already?”

“Donna—I've been shopping for a new firm.”

“What...oh....OH! But what about the non-compete clause? You can't ...”

“Yes, I can and I will. I plan to take as many of my clients as possible. All of them if they'll follow me. But you need to keep this quiet. I don't want anyone to get a whiff of what we're doing until I'm ready to make my move.”

“Harvey, how do you plan to break the non-compete..............oh, the puppy found a loop-hole didn't he?”

Donna gave Harvey the first smile he's seen all day.

“And Jessica thought her contract was binding and unbreakable. You have to hand it to the kid, he's good with the loop-hole thing. I can't wait to see her face when you shove that at her. Taking that many high profile clients will hurt.”

“And I plan to make it hurt as much as possible all while making sure she knows that Mike is the one that broke her unbreakable contract. She thinks she can control me and use Mike as one way to do it. But she's not going to be able to control what coming her way.”

“I'll work on setting appointments, what else can I do? And how soon do we make our move?”

“Donna, when I said I was shopping, I didn't mean that you had to follow. I know you like it here, you have friends here. I would never...”

“You really think I would stay here after what she did to you and Mike? He's my puppy too. I may not be the one in love with him, but I love him too. And the only reason I like it here is because I'm working with the best—that's you, Harvey. We've been together for a long time. Now if you don't want me to come with you...."

“Donna, I want you with me, I just didn't want to ask. I can't do what I do without you doing what you do.”

“Then it's settled.” Donna started to get up but sat back down just as quickly.

“What about the merger? Are you still going to work to block that?”

“If she wants the damn merger so badly, she can have it. I won't....WE.. won't be here for long after she finalizes her deal, preferably, we'll walk out right before she finalizes it. I'll continue to let her think I'm working against it and I could stop it. Mike left enough ammo for that front as well. She's going to hurt when we walk away with the last word and there's not a damn thing she's going to be able to do about it.”

Harvey studied Donna's expression as she got up to return to her desk. He could see the determined look she got when she had something important on her mind.

A heartfelt “Thank-you.” was given in exchange for a wink along with a hair flip. They were in this together while feeling the emptiness of missing their favorite puppy.


	2. Chapter 2

*Chapter Two*

His penthouse was quiet when he entered late that night. Harvey had stayed at the office to lay out his strategy of leaving the firm with his clients intact and hitting Jessica where it would hurt the most-the financial bottom line. That was the reason he'd given Donna as to why he was staying when he finally sent her home. But now he could admit to himself the real reason it was so late—he didn't want to be here alone, it hurt. Without Mike. Three years without Mike. It was already too quiet and Mike had never officially moved in. They had never talked about it even though Mike spent more of his time at Harvey's penthouse instead of his little shoebox of an apartment. As he looked around, he could see little bits of Mike: his messenger bag on the floor in the foyer; the two books Mike was currently reading sitting on the end table next to the sofa-one was a history of the FBI, the other a documentary on the largest marijuana bust in US history; Mike's laptop was still on the coffee table with an empty Red Bull can next to it. Walking into his master suite, he noted that his housekeeper had changed the sheets. There wouldn't be any of Mike's essence left to comfort him while he lay in bed. Mike's clothes were gone from the chair where they had been folded. Nothing for Harvey to physically hold on to that smelled like Mike. Everything that he had been feeling was crashing down on him – the reality of the situation making itself unbearably clear now. Mike was gone and there was nothing he could do about it. And he was physically and emotionally drained from this day wanting nothing more than to fall into unconsciousness, but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep without Mike. At least he wouldn't be able to sleep very well.

Shedding his suit down to his boxers and a tee, Harvey tried to lay in bed, pulling Mike's pillow close. But his mind wouldn't slow down. The image he saw was of Mike climbing into that transport bus and having to watch as it drove away, Mike not even knowing that Harvey had been there. Quickly getting up and throwing the pillow back onto the bed, Harvey ran his hands through his hair and down his face wondering how in the hell he was going to get any sleep for the foreseeable future. He made his way back out to the living room, turned on a small side lamp and made his way to the wet bar. A small glass of scotch in hand as he sat on the sofa. After setting his empty tumbler aside, he slouched until his head was resting on the back of the sofa, his arms stretched out on either side looking for something to hold on to as he felt himself falling over an emotional cliff. Always being so in control of his emotions, Harvey wasn't really sure how to handle this. Mike was the one that helped him with these sorts of feelings but this time there would be no one to turn to. He could call Donna but he'd had enough of her sympathy looks for one day. He couldn't stand any more of his weaknesses on display for her even though she knows them all. His hands were clawing between the cushions digging into the sofa when he felt something out of place. He fingers wrapped around what felt like soft cotton. Pulling his hand out from between the cushions he found himself almost choking in relief. He'd found Mike's t-shirt stuffed between the sofa cushions. Closing his eyes as he inhaled Mike's scent, the memories of how Mike's shirt ending up in the sofa flooded back.

_It was Saturday night, Mike and Harvey had gone out to dinner and a movie, very low key. The latest action flick and neither men were impressed with the story line or acting, but the nudity and special effects were at least entertaining. Mike had grabbed a beer for each of them as they sat on the sofa to watch the sports channel and unwind for the night. Harvey was engrossed in the end of season baseball news so it took a few minutes before he realized that Mike had curled into his side, hands running up and down his thigh, ghosting up over his belt and navel. Mike was nuzzling the side of Harvey's neck softly saying his name when Harvey's attention was finally diverted to what Mike was doing. Smirking, he slowly took a sip of his beer before setting his bottle aside and made a show of a long, loud yawn. “Sorry Mike, I'm beat, I think that movie may have bored me to sleep. I think I'll go ..”_

_"Don't even think about it Harvey. You were teasing me all through that damn movie and you will stay awake long enough for me to..”_  
 __

_“To what Mike?” Harvey tried to hide his smile but he was cut off from anything further when Mike's lips crashed onto his. Mike was devouring Harvey with an intensity that made the older man stifle a moan. Mike's hands were suddenly everywhere—pressing up and down his chest, palming his groin, scraping the nape of his neck up into his hair. Distracted by dueling with Mike's tongue, Harvey hadn't noticed Mike moving until he felt Mike's weight settle on lap, straddling and grinding his hips into Harvey and making the most delicious noises. Mike's nimble fingers were now working the buttons of Harvey's shirt trying to reach bare skin as quickly as possible. Not to be outdone, Harvey started pulling Mike's tee out of his jeans and slowly moving up Mike's torso, teasing ribs as he went. Harvey broke their kiss, staring into Mike's darkened eyes and tugged at the tee and growled; “Off”_

_Mike leaned back only far enough for the offending shirt to be raised up and over his head and then finished unbuttoning Harvey's shirt quickly so that it, too, could be removed. Mike threw Harvey's shirt across the room while Harvey didn't waste the energy and just slid Mike's tee into the corner of the sofa. Thirty minutes later, both men were trying to calm their breathing after having slid down the length of the sofa entwined with one another. Pillows had been shoved into the corner of the sofa and a pair of pants were hanging over the back. Mike was trying to get comfortable and shoving pillows even further into the corner all the while basking in the feeling of having Harvey's weight resting on him._

Harvey slid down the sofa and laid his head on a pillow holding Mike's tee close to his chest. Later in the night, Harvey finally got off the sofa and retreated to his bedroom. Laying down in bed he once again pulled Mike's pillow to him but this time slipped the soft cotton tee over the pillow and hugged it close. Harvey didn't sleep well that first night, but he did sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

*Chapter Three*

Mike kept his head down during the trip to Rikers. Focusing on the metal against his wrists, trying not to think about what he was leaving behind. But even then, his thoughts returned to Harvey. How he'd held Mike's wrist last night as he loomed over him staring into Mikes eyes as he thrust into Mike. Both of them on the edge, Harvey's grip tightening as Mike arched into Harvey as his orgasm overtook him. Shaking his head to try and clear his thoughts, Mike prayed that Harvey wouldn't hate him for doing this-leaving like he did. He hoped that they'd be able to salvage their relationship, but realistically, he knew. Three years---three years is a long time to wait for anyone and Harvey is not known for his patience. And Harvey is not a man to put aside his needs. Mike knew, no matter how much his heart hoped, that Harvey couldn't wait for him. He'd told Harvey in his letter that he'd be better off on his own again.

The three days at Rikers were mostly a blur. Nothing of importance happening as he was kept in a transfer cell with two other men all waiting for their relocation to parts unknown. He knew their names but didn't really want to remember them so he kept to himself thinking that right now a quiet, low profile would serve him best. Thinking that Harvey wouldn't believe that he could actually be still and quiet for three days. Meals would come and go all with the thoughts of what Harvey would be having for his meal. Hot dog from the vendor on the corner for lunch. Mike knew of at least one scheduled client dinner for that week. He enjoyed watching Harvey work a client over dinner. Sauve and sophistication—two words that described Harvey to a tee and he never failed to impress. The occasions that Mike got to tag along had usually ended up with a marathon of sex. Mike would be incredibly turned on by Harvey during their dinner meetings, just watching Harvey work. By the time the client was sent home, Mike could barely keep his hands off of Harvey. By the time they got to Harvey's place, Harvey couldn't keep his hands off of Mike. 

Donna figured it out of course. When the puppy got to follow along on a client dinner, the big dog was always in an extremely good mood the next morning. She could see the signs of his mood—always read as “I got laid and it was fantastic” Donna loved these mornings, Harvey was more than generous on those occasions and well, she wasn't above taking advantage. When she realized it was the puppy that caused those moods, well, to say she was ecstatic was an understatement. She loved Harvey and if Mike made him happy, she was happy for him. And if Harvey was happy, her life was easy. It did make for some fun, Mike was so easily teased and embarrassed. Mike still blushed at just the memory of the first time Donna teased him about being the cause of Harvey's good mood

_"Umm, where do you think you're going?" Donna didn't even lift an eyebrow to Mike as he tried to slip into Harvey's office._

_Mike stalled next to her desk with a look of confusion. Turning his head slightly towards Donna but trying to catch a glimpse of Harvey at the same time, his reply was a bit stuttered and almost a question: "In the office, with Harvey?"_

_"Nope, I wouldn't recommend that puppy. Not this morning."_

_"What? Why?" Mike knew that they'd had a great dinner meeting with the client the night before. Things got even better after dinner when they made it back to Harvey's penthouse. Mike had even congratulated himself last night and this morning on how wrung out he was able to get "Mr. Cool as a Cucumber never showing any feeling". Mike not only saw what Harvey was feeling displayed all over his "O" face, he felt it and heard it--last night and again this morning. What could have happened between leaving the apartment and now?_

_"Oh, he's in a bad mood--something definitely has set him off. Probably the message from a Lizzy who said she was the hostess from the restaurant you were at last night."_

_Leaning forward towards Mike, Donna lowered her voice and whispered; "I haven't seen him this pissy since the last time he was cock-blocked by Jessica about the little cocktail waitress he was trying to score at a client dinner. You didn't cock-block him last night did you Mike?"_

_Donna's eyebrows were raised with a small smirk on her lips. Mike was looking at Harvey in disbelief. Harvey had been flirty with the hostess but he's always flirty._

_"The bitch, I thought I made it clear to her last night...." and Mike's eyes went wide when he realized he's been speaking out loud._

_"Oh? And what did you make clear to the bitch last night, Mike?" Donna was no longer hiding her smirk and her eyes were twinkling with joy._

_"Damnit, Donna. You know, don't you?" Mike entire focus on Donna now and didn't notice Harvey walking back towards Donna's desk._

_"Know what?" Harvey stopped right beside Mike, a little closer than socially acceptable for a boss and his employee._

_"I was just telling Mike that the hostess from the restaurant called this morning. He seemed a little upset by it. Did you call her back yet, Harvey?" Donna had her head tilted and her voice was a bit playful._

_"Mike," Mike was ignoring Harvey still focused hard on Donna._

_"Mike" Harvey bit out a bit more harshly. "She's playing you, trying to get you to react and you played right into her. Really, Mike? Jealousy?"_

_"What? You knew she knew? Why didn't you tell me?"_

_"It's Donna, of course she knew. YOU should have known, I shouldn't have to tell you."_

_Finally breaking his focus off of Donna, Mike looked at Harvey. "You should feel lucky that I would be jealous."_

_Looking Mike straight in the eyes, Harvey said just loud enough for Mike and Donna to hear; "I got what I wanted and WHO I wanted last night and this morning. The same who I've been with and planned on being with for some time now. Look in Donna's trash, you'll see that message balled up and forgotten. I've got what I want."_

_Taking a step back from Mike, Harvey could see the flush rising up from Mike's collar. "Now, if we're done with the high school drama, we've got work to do." Harvey turned on his heel and went back into his office. Donna was holding in her laugh but just barely._

_"You loved setting me up, didn't you?"_

_"Oh, more than you know, puppy, more than you know." As Mike turned to head into Harvey's office, Donna took one last parting shot--"Oh Mike, I'm going to keep a stash of protein bars and Vitamin E for you--you're going to need it!"_

_Mike's flush rose all the way to his ears._

  


Mike knew he had to put all these memories away, store them in a box and stop tormenting himself with what was because it wouldn't be like that ever again. But his mind wouldn't keep that box closed and spent most days lost in his own loop of torment.

He was finally transferred to the Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville late in the evening. About two dozen men being held for transfer at Rikers were moved out in one day as they had to make room for incoming inmates. Mike was the only one being shipped to the minimum security prison camp at Otisville so he was one of the last to leave. Finally arriving around 8:30pm, it was too late for normal admissions and processing so Mike was sent to the hospital wing for the night. The following morning had Mike going through the admissions and processing procedures, getting his medical clearance from the in-house medical staff, and finally his housing and work assignments. Since he just arrived, he was assigned to the general dormitory where there was no privacy. But Mike got lucky on work assignment—grounds maintenance. At this point he really didn't care, he just considered himself fortunate not to be on kitchen detail. He'd missed the days work schedule, it took until 3pm for all of his processing so he had a “free” day, his new routine would begin at 6am the following morning. 

That first night in the dormitory was hard on Mike. He'd resigned himself to his situation but he felt himself falling into a depression and lethargy. He just didn't care. He'd eaten little for days, had little strength. His sleep was so intermittent that it was like no sleep at all. He dreamt of Harvey every night, clutching his pillow like it was his lifeline.


	4. Chapter 4

*Chapter Four*

It took almost three weeks for Harvey to meet with all of his clients. It took finesse and confidence to walk through his planned departure from the firm and come out with signed letters of intent to follow him to which ever firm he landed. That was the hardest part with nearly all of his clients, since he hadn't finalized what firm he would be moving on to, but they all had one thing in common—trust and confidence in Harvey. Wherever he did land, he would make sure they were all well taken care of.

These last three weeks were hard on Harvey. Donna saw a little piece of him chipped away every morning as he walked in looking for his puppy. She knew that he missed Mike more than he would ever admit. But as soon as he realized she was watching, every morning he would put away the pain and put on his game face. Twice they worked at his condo in the evening when they wanted absolute privacy. Donna could see Mike's absence hit Harvey the hardest while there at his home. Mike's messenger bag was still in the foyer by the front door waiting to be picked up in the morning.

These weeks also found Harvey busy looking for a new home, a professional home where he could be comfortable starting over. There were a lot of firms vying for Harvey to join them; all with very lucrative and generous offers considering he was bringing his clients with him providing as much incentive and new revenue to their firms. Fortunately, all were very well versed at keeping secrets knowing that any hint of the city's best closer moving to their firm would automatically eliminate them from consideration. Harvey thought about his options--large faceless firms like what he was afraid Pearson Darby was going to turn into or a smaller firm where he could probably make a real impact? The turning point came when he was approached by an old Harvard friend and classmate. John Fangman and Harvey were 1 year apart at Harvard but tried to keep in touch after John graduated first. Fangman & Klein was a smaller firm in Manhattan but growing steadily with a solid client base and very sold credit line. Scott Klein was the son of Joseph Klein, Jr.—the Joseph Klein of JK Diamond Importers that had been in business for over 100 years. Deep pockets and international clients were two of their best assets.

“Harvey, it's John Fangman. Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time.”

“John! Good to hear from you. How are Heather and the kids?”

“Good, good. Thanks for asking. Harvey, I'll cut to the chase—there is quiet talk around about you leaving Pearson. If it's true, I'd like to talk about it. You are an asset I'd like to have Harvey. Actually, I had hoped one day you would have called me. I know you had a debt to repay to Jessica, but when it was time to move on, I was hoping I'd hear from you.”

“I didn't want to play on old friendships and make it awkward. But I have kept an eye on you and your firm. You're doing well, John.”

“We'll do even better with you. Your reputation alone would bring in clients. I've been keeping track of you, too.”

“And if I brought my clients with me?”

"What can I offer Harvey? We're looking to expand and grow. You are exactly what we need for that expansion.”

“Would that include expanding the name of the firm?”

“Named partnership? I have no problem with that but let me discuss it with Scott. Why don't I call you—let's meet to talk this through. Harvey, I'd like to make this happen. It would be a win for both of us. You could really impact our firm.”

“John, I'm glad you called me. Let me know when you want to sit down together.”

Within the week, Harvey had met with John and Scott four times to discuss Harvey's pending partnership and what his client base could add to their firm. Harvey and John had always had an easy friendship and discussing business revealed that they had the same business sense as well. Scott was a bit older than Harvey and John and revealed that he may cut back on the hours and clients he was handling and was pleased to have the prospect of a new named partner to help John with the reins of the company. All of this made Harvey feel he was making the right decision, that this was the firm that he could make an impact at; a firm that he could build on; a firm that he could call home and make it something that would be a lasting influence for both him and Mike.


	5. Chapter 5

*Chapter Five*

While talking through issues with John and Scott about moving to their firm, the merger of Pearson Darby was also moving forward. While not taking an active role to block the merger, Harvey did continue to make noise so as not to alert Jessica that his intentions had changed.

“Harvey---”

“Louis, what have I told you about barging into my office when Donna is away from her desk?”

“Harvey, why aren't you actively working to stop this merger? You know it's a mistake. I hear a lot of noise but see no action. I don't want to be a partner at Pearson Darby. Let me help you. I can help you.”

Louis was surprised by the expression he saw on Harvey's face—one of shock?

“I thought you loved this firm? You don't want to be a part of it?”

“I loved the firm we had, not the one we're going to have forced upon us. I don't see a place for me in this new firm.”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

“What?....Now you want to ask me to dinner? What is this a date?”

“Louis, shut up. Think about what you've just said. You don't want to be a partner here. This isn't something we can discuss in the office. Have dinner with me and we'll talk.”

“Is this a joke?”

“No joke. 8 o'clock tonight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Through appetizers and their first course, Harvey was getting a read on just how Louis was feeling about the merger. It was becoming increasingly clear that Louis was worried about his status. Clearly, as Senior Partner, that couldn't be taken away from him but his status as financial and tax law expert could clearly be challenged by the new British blood that Darby may bring into their office.

Harvey and Donna had discussed whether to approach any other partners to leave with them. As much as they both despised Louis on some level, he had tried to make up for past sins and was surprisingly supportive when Mike was first gone. Knowing that Fangman & Klein was lacking in their tax law department, Louis would be a perfect fit. Donna pointed out that Louis would most likely bring several of his clients as well. He was too proud to let his work be taken over by someone else and astonishingly, his clients liked him at least on a professional level. Harvey had argued trust issues. But in the end, both agreed that his action of late showed that Louis may have seen the error of his ways.

Decision made, Harvey slowly told Louis of his plans to leave Pearson. Of course the first argument Louis came up with was the non-compete clause. Stating that Mike had found a way to break the non-compete and he would be taking his clients with him had shocked Louis. To say he was stunned was an understatement. Silence reined their table for several minutes while Louis took in this news.

“I never thought you of all people would leave Jessica. I guess she really did hurt you when she got rid of Mike. I'd say she's underestimated you.”

"She underestimated Mike and his talent. AND she betrayed me.” Harvey gave Louis a hard stare with that statement. “I don't take that betrayal lightly.”

“So why are you telling me all of this Harvey? I would think you'd be happy to leave me behind.”

“What if I didn't leave you behind?” Harvey paused to let that sink in. “What if you came with me? You've said yourself that Jessica has always held you back. She's not the one who promoted you."

Louis' eyes never strayed from Harvey's as he tried to comprehend what Harvey was offering. Trying to read Harvey was never one of Louis' talents, but tonight he saw nothing but truth in Harvey's expression. Swallowing hard and looking away before quickly looking back again, Louis asked his one and only question.

“Why?”

Harvey didn't answer right away. He knew Louis had a legitimate question and deserved an honest answer. Harvey had already decided that if he was going to make this offer to Louis, he wanted their working relationship to be one that, well, worked. Honesty would be the best start.

“I want to hurt Jessica and her firm. I want her to know what it's like to have trust and loyalty ripped from her. She's treated you like dirt at times, almost as badly as Hardman did when we where young associates. Yet you've always been loyal to her and the firm. I think she honestly believes you'd never leave.”

Louis started to interject about his resignation but Harvey quickly stopped him.

“I know you would never have betrayed her even if we hadn't stopped you from leaving. But she's obviously not above betraying anyone at any moment. I guess I was a bit naïve in thinking she wouldn't betray me, she is the one that gave me my start. I thought.......it doesn't matter.” Shaking his head slightly to try and remove the sentimentality that started to creep in, Harvey continued: “What matters now is that she realize she can't control every one and every thing. I want her to know that her actions have consequences as well and she's going to feel them very deeply.”

“So my leaving with you now will hurt her?” Louis didn't look convinced.

“Yes. Louis, the non-compete is breakable. I intend to take every one of my clients with me. I have letters of intent from all of them. Part of what she's sold Darby on with this partnership is a high-profile client base, equally high billables, and Senior Partners with reputations to keep it all afloat. My clients may be higher-profile than yours but you have higher billables. We both have reputations that are irrefutable.”

“Did you just admit that my billables are higher than yours?” A small smirk played across Louis' face.

“You heard it once, you may never hear it again.” Harvey allowed Louis one small smirk in return.

“The bottom line—my leaving will hurt her credibility with Darby and hurt the firm financially. You and me both leaving, that not only doubly hurts her credibility but leaves the firm with a huge financial hole. I can help you convince your clients to move with you, Louis. They trust you professionally. When we explain that their interests are no longer served at Pearson, they'll follow you.”

“Follow me where? Just where do you plan on hanging your shingle? You've conveniently left that out of the equation.”

“Fangman, Klein and Specter.”

“Fangman Klein.....you'll be a named partner. And you want me in this firm? Is this where you tell me you can offer me a junior partnership in return? I've worked too hard..”

“Louis”

“..to go back”

“Louis”

"..I won't be embarrassed”

“LOUIS!”

Jerking his eyes to meet Harvey's, Louis kept his expression hard in preparation of their continual battle.

“Senior Partner in charge of the financial/tax division.” Harvey spoke with conviction and sincerity, hoping Louis would see that this is real.

“Senior Partner in charge.....” Louis was having trouble accepting this coming from Harvey.

“Yes, Senior Partner. Fangman/Klein is lacking in their financial law, they admit it. They are struggling with some of their international clients in this regard. John and Scott both know your reputation and are willing to let you take the reins of that division to make it top notch—the best in the city. They both will be here in about 20 minutes to discuss this with you......if you are interested.”

“You'd do this for me? Recommend that I join your new firm as if nothing has happened between the two of us in the past?” Harvey saw in Louis' eyes a hope that this was real.

“Louis, I know we both have had made errors in judgment in regards to working with each other. But I know you and I know you are the best lawyer out there to make this firm world class.”

Ninety minutes later the casual observer would see four men enjoying a glass of wine with smiles. Two of those men are celebrating the good fortune of their firm to have landed two new partners that will easily generate figures in the 8 digits. A third gentleman not believing his turn of circumstance in such a short time but being drawn into the celebration. The last man of the quartet was slowly sipping his wine, content with the events that played out for the evening but a ghost of sadness could be seen in eyes. His left hand slipping into his jacket pocket and softly caressing the brushed metal and leather of a watch that had stopped ticking.


	6. Chapter 6

*chapter 6*

Since their dinner meeting, Harvey and Louis had met with John and Scott several times including a dinner party introducing them to all of the partners of Fangman/Klein. While the idea of the evening was to get know one another, the underlying theme was still silence of the merger with new partners and the formation of their new firm. The merger of Pearson Darby was still pending and Harvey didn't want to tip his hand too soon. Harvey quietly charmed his way through the evening reconnecting with old acquaintances and making new alliances. Louis had not been this excited since joining Pearson Hardman. 

 

With only days before the scheduled Pearson Darby merger, John, Scott, Harvey and Louis were making final plans and reviewing one last time any possible legal obstacles that Jessica could possibly throw at them. Reviewing the non-compete again, Harvey saw John shaking his head.

“Is there a problem, John?”

John paused from reading the current section of the non-compete in his hand and then looked back over the brief put together that negates the entire clause.  
“No, it's just............really, this non-compete, you really would believe it's unbreakable. But this brief strategy that puts it down is just pure genius. A little used and rarely thought of piece of litigation just topples the whole thing. It's brilliant, Harvey. I'm a bit in awe of you right now. I never would have thought this was yours.” John had a smile a mile wide for his old friend.

Harvey looked down at his hands while Louis watched him closely.  
“It's not mine John. I didn't find this.” Harvey chanced a glance at his Harvard friend.  
“Then who?-------Louis?”  
“I wish I could take credit, but no. It was Harvey's associate.”  
“It was Mike.” Harvey admitted.  
“Mike?.... Your Mike?..... Mike Ross?”  
“Yes”  
“Wow, I'm.....impressed.” John looked back at the brief again and gave a low whistle of appreciation.

“I met Mike when he was working with Phil Anderson on a case. I was opposing counsel---they kicked my ass!!” Scott had refilled his scotch and was offering a refill to everyone else. “Phil gave some of the credit to Mike. Rare praise from that SOB.”

“Yeah, Mike wasn't too happy about working with Anderson.” Harvey accepted a refill from Scott and stared into his tumbler.  
“So why was Mike working with Anderson if he was your associate?”  
“That would be because Harvey lost a bet to me and Mike was the chattel.” Louis chanced a glance at Harvey.  
“Well you're the one that threw him to all the partners for grunt work. You didn't even want him after that.”  
“Not after that shit bet---you left him out to hang on that case, Harvey.”  
“Wait—you bet Mike?” Scott was smirking trying to hide his laughter.  
“Jessica put Louis and I against one another in a business dispute between two sisters. The bet was if Louis won, he got Mike's services for a week.”  
“And then Harvey made Mike handle his end of the case by himself and he lost.” A bit of remorse was heard in Louis' tone.  
“What would Harvey have gotten if Mike had won?” This time John trying to hide his laughter.  
“Nothing”  
The room was silent for a long hard beat.

“Ouch. He must have been pissed at you.” John tried to convey a bit of sympathy for Harvey.

“Oh, he was.” Harvey was momentarily lost in the memory.

“I don't think he was too mad. I spoke with Mike more than Phil during that case. I admit, I was impressed with him. I even tried to lure him here. I offered him a job.” Scott was rolling his tumbler between his hands as he spoke. “He seemed surprised that anyone would want to recruit him away from Pearson Hardman. He said that he was just a lowly associate. That he was sure I could find someone better. He was feeling pretty down on himself at the time. He mentioned that he'd messed up on a case and that was why he was assigned to Anderson. He seemed a little unsure about what his future would hold. I told him his ability to think outside the box seemed to be only one of his many talents that any firm would value. He was bit overwhelmed by that. I asked him if he was that loyal to Pearson Hardman, that he wouldn't consider any other firm. Do you want to know what he said?” Scott's eyes held a bit of a mischievous glint as he looked at Harvey.

Harvey glanced at Louis before giving a nod to Scott.

“He said no, not to Pearson Hardman, but to the senior partner he was assigned to, that's where his loyalty lies. If that partner left Pearson Hardman, he'd leave too. Even if that partner didn't want him anymore.”

Harvey turned away from the other three men to look out the window. He didn't hear much of the continuing conversations that concluded in agreement from the other three men that everything was in place for Harvey and Louis to leave Jessica's firm behind. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey and Louis met for drinks the night before they planned to drop their bomb in Jessica's lap. It was one day before the planned Pearson Darby merger was to be finalized. For Harvey, it was one last chance to make sure Louis was on board. For Louis, it was his chance to calm his fears that this was not all a joke. Both men had calmed their nerves over a glass of wine and honest conversation.

“Harvey, can I ask you a question?” Harvey could tell Louis was anxious.  
“You can ask, I reserve the right not to answer.”  
“When John found out Mike was the one that found the loophole and wrote the brief, he said 'Your Mike.' Like he knew something about Mike.” Louis paused looking away from Harvey. “Harvey, what did John mean by that? What happened to Ross?”

Harvey had hoped he wouldn't have to have this conversation with Louis but knew it was inevitable. Taking a sip of wine and looking anywhere but at Louis, he stalled as long as possible to figure out what he wanted to say. 

“Louis, Mike....” Harvey closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Jessica wanted Mike out of the firm and she had blackmail material on me. She went to him and threatened him. If he didn't turn himself in on the charges she had laid out against him, she would ruin me. He destroyed his career to save mine.” Harvey couldn't meet Louis' eyes and found the patterns in their tablecloth extremely interesting. They sat in silence for quite some time, both men trying to come to terms with what had been said. Harvey continued to avoid looking at Louis. Louis took his time but finally could not hold back the questions.

“Harvey, why would Mike ruin his own career?” Louis' brow was crinkled with deep thought as he tried to understand, eyes darting side to side not looking directly at Harvey. “Just what does Mike mean to you, Harvey?”

Slowly raising his eyes to meet Louis', Harvey's voice was quiet as he replied; “Mike.....he's …..” Harvey looked away, they had never really labeled what they were to one another. Raising his gaze again, he replied “Mike is very important to me.”

Louis couldn't look away from the honest expression he was receiving from Harvey. Mike was important to him....Mike was important to Harvey. Mike.....and......Harvey.......

Nodding his head as he put the pieces together, Louis stated; “Jessica didn't just hurt you, she HURT you by getting rid of Mike. I didn't understand why you wanted to hurt her, but I understand now. She hurt you.” After a long pause, he asked; “John and Scott know that Mike is important to you?”

“Yes.”

Soon, Harvey and Louis said good-night and went their separate ways. The next day being a pivotal point in both mens careers. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louis had been thinking of what Harvey had told him the entire ride to his home. He was not entirely stunned about the revelation of Harvey and Mike, they had a close working relationship. He'd never seen Harvey open up and accept someone so easily as he did Mike even though Harvey did ride Mike unmercifully at times. What he was really pondering was what Jessica had as blackmail on Harvey and even more importantly-what kind of charges did she have filed against Mike?

Heading straight to his study when he got home, he started researching. What he found was completely disturbing. The case file against Mike was not in public records. There was file of a Michael J. Ross dated for early October that could fit but was also buried in confidential files of the District Attorney's office. Not wanting to give up, Louis reluctantly closed down his browser, shut off his laptop and retreated to the living room. To find out what Jessica had done would take finesse and more than a little time. Knowing that the next day was going to be stressful, Louis decided to call it an early night with a tall glass of comforting milk.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey woke early the next day. He tried to convince himself that he was not having a case of nerves and that he was confident in the moves he had laid out for the day. Donna had her role to play and he was more than sure she had everything planned to the minute. Harvey spent an extra 20 minutes at the gym in his building to rid himself of the extra adrenaline before heading back to his penthouse to shower and dress for the day. Deciding on his favorite charcoal grey pinstripe Tom Ford, he picked out a blue tie instead of the traditional power red. If that blue just happened to match the color of Mike's eyes, all the better. 

Donna was at her desk as usual when Harvey arrived. Snagging the cup of coffee she had waiting for him, he continued into his office with Donna following right behind him. Closing his door, she turned and made her way to his desk. Harvey was reviewing the messages she had left for him. He knew his schedule was clear for the day just as they'd planned.

“Everything is set. I scheduled your meeting with Jessica for 9:30 this morning. The movers will be here by 9:00 ready to come up once I give them a call. They'll be staged near the freight elevators so that no one coming in through the front of the building will see anything. Once they get the go-ahead, I'll have them start in here. They have enough people so that it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes tops to have everything packed and back to the freight elevator. I'll do the same with Louis' office after he goes to meet Jessica once you are done. The movers will then head straight to FK&S to start unloading.” Donna paused to give Harvey a minute to think about the plan they had in place before she continued. “My computer is already wiped clean. Your laptop will be packed and ready for you to pick up with your briefcase as we walk out. All current documents and files are ready to go in your briefcase. You can do that before you go meet with Jessica. I have some documents that I'll keep in my tote as well as some for Louis.” This time Donna paused to take a long sip of her latte. 

“FK&S?” Harvey's voice had a hint of amusement in it.

“Well, how else should I refer to the new office? I like it.” She gave Harvey a genuine smile that set him at ease. “I especially like the new office space and furniture we picked out. And Carmen said that John and Scott have the announcement scheduled along with your name going up on the wall for one-thirty this afternoon. New business cards will be handed out at that time as well. She said this afternoon is pretty well just going to be one big party.” Donna's head was tilted to one side as she studied Harvey. She could see all the conflicting emotions that he was trying not to show. This was going to be hard, confronting Jessica and walking away from her even with how badly she had hurt Harvey. She knew that Harvey owed Jessica but that debt had been paid many times over a long time ago. He'd stayed out of loyalty and friendship. But those things had been destroyed. Not wanting to focus on these things, she tried to steer Harvey to the lighter side of the morning. “So boss man, who do you need me to terrorize one last time this morning? And you should also be thinking about where you're going to take me for lunch.”

Harvey gave Donna a small smirk before asking; “Lunch? You think I'm buying you lunch?”

“You owe me lunch, mister. And you even suggested it on one of those evenings we were working late to get everything planned. You said and I quote, 'Donna, the day we walk out I'm taking you to lunch at one of those trendy little places you like. And we'll have dessert to celebrate.' And I'm holding you to dessert---I've gone to extra Zumba classes for weeks so that I can have this lunch with dessert.” Standing from the chair, she said softly, “Now, what do you need this morning?”

Looking over his desk, the files she had laid ready for him, the messages and his laptop, Harvey raised his gaze to Donna and shook his head. “You've got everything ready, I'm set. I don't need anything else right now.”

As Donna turned to go back to her desk, Harvey said; “Donna.....” she turned to meet his eyes, “thank-you.” Donna gave Harvey another beautiful smile and continued on to her desk. 

The morning went surprisingly quick as he was biding his time to meet with Jessica. A few calls from close clients that knew today was the day and called to wish him well. Louis had checked in with Donna to let her know that everything was still on track with his plans as well. 9:25am rolled around and Harvey started to pack his briefcase. Donna came into his office just as he was closing the lid. She waited for Harvey to move towards the door before she stopped him. She went to straighten his tie and noticed the color. Smiling to herself, she smoothed the silk and patted his shoulders.

“I'm proud of you for doing this, I know it's hard but you deserve this. You deserve the recognition, the respect, you deserve to be happy and appreciated. All things that are coming your direction in a big way. He'll be proud of you too.” She said that last part as she lightly patted the blue silk tie. “Go, it's time. I've got movers to direct.” 

One last glance at his office and Harvey straightened his shoulders and made his way to Jessica's office. She was sitting behind her desk as he approached, ignoring the fact that she could see him coming. He entered her office without knocking and turned to close the door. That movement did earn the raise of her eyebrow.

“Jessica”  
“Harvey. What was so important that you felt the need to schedule a meeting? You're not going to whine about the merger again are you?” She had tilted her head to one side as she gave Harvey a side-ways glance trying to intimidate.

Harvey stood in front of Jessica's desk and gave her a hard stare before replying.  
“No, I'm not here about your merger. I'm here to give you this.” and he let the file folder he'd been holding fall loudly onto the middle of the pile of papers she had been reading. A look of distaste and irritation was portrayed as Jessica slowly opened the offending file. Quickly scanning the papers within the folder, she paused and gave Harvey a hard look of her own before settling back into her chair.

“And just what is this? You can't be serious, you know you can't walk out on me, on the firm.” Jessica's tone was that of annoyance.

“It's exactly as it states. It's my resignation and intent to leave this firm, with all my clients in tow. Today, as a matter of fact.” Still standing in front of her desk not giving an inch into her intimidation tactics, Harvey waited for her next assault.

Looking at Harvey with hooded eyes, Jessica's smile was anything but warm. “Harvey, your non-compete had been extended. You know that you aren't going anywhere. Whatever game you think this is, it's not going to work. Now you're going to.....”

“No, I'm not. If you would look through all of that paperwork you'll find exactly what you need to understand that this is no game. This is real. I'm breaking your non-compete clause and I'm leaving this firm. Today.” Harvey's voice had risen slightly as the pitch of his voice was hard.

Jessica flipped through the pages until she stopped with a startled look as she read through the outline of how Harvey's contract could be negated. Glancing at the man that stood before her, she read through the pages again until she finally set the entire folder down on her desk. Rising from her seat to her full height, the look on her face was unmistakable—pure outrage.

“How dare you try and walk away from me. I'm the one that gave you your start, I made you, you ungrateful piece of shit. I own you.” To anyone but Harvey, Jessica was completely in control. But he could see the slight tremble, the almost imperceptible quiver in her voice. She was rattled beyond anything he'd ever seen before.

“You don't own me. I don't owe you anything, not anymore. I've paid my debt to you many times over and you know it. I've brought more revenue to this firm than you ever expected. You may have given me my start, but you didn't make me. If anything, you've been trying to break me lately. I'm not going to let you. I'm walking away from this firm, from you.” Harvey's voice was quiet but full of venom.

“I wrote that non-compete, it's unbreakable. You will not walk away from here with your reputation in tact, Harvey, if you continue with this.” 

“It is breakable. I've had other attorneys and a contract law professor review that piece of litigation that negates your contract. It's solid. It will hold up to anything you try and throw at it. And if you try and attack my reputation, you'll be on the losing end of that lawsuit as well.” Harvey had just about had enough of Jessica's threats.

“You would never have found this. Who......” Realization dawned on Jessica's face. “That God-damned kid. He's the one that did this, isn't he? It's always that God-damned kid with you, Harvey.” Hate was evident in every word she spoke.

“That God-damned kid has a name. Mike Ross. He's the one that beat you and it's not the first time, is it? He beat you that night in my office. You couldn't stand it then and you can't stand it now.” 

“What is it about that kid, Harvey? You've been acting like a school girl since I sent him away. I did that for your own good, for the good of the firm. You brought a kid with no degree into my firm, he could have ruined everything I'd built. For what? So that you could be amused with your little walking encyclopedia?” Jessica was studying Harvey as she attacked Mike's character. Walking around her desk to stand in front of Harvey, she observed his face. She knew how to read Harvey better than anyone, taking her time before she continued. She gave a small snort and glanced away before returning her stare at Harvey. “I wasn't paying close enough attention. You're in love with him. You let that little piece of shit get under your skin.”

Harvey was having a hard time controlling his anger as she continued to belittle Mike. If she had really been paying attention, she would have seen the tirade that was about to be launched at herself.

“Mike Ross is anything but a little piece of shit. He's the smartest person you or I will ever come in contact with and that's what really eats away at you, isn't it? He's smarter than you. You really can't stand not being on top. You've made this persona for yourself that you're the smartest of us all, that you can solve anything. Well, you didn't solve Hardman on your own now did you? Who was it that broke Hardman's hold? Oh, that was Mike.” Harvey was practically yelling at Jessica, his control had all but slipped away.

“That kid was going to bring this firm down. You would have been the reason for it. Everything we'd worked for would have been in question.” Jessica was firing back at Harvey, any thoughts of resolution and compromise completely thrown out the window.

“He's the one that put this firm back together for you with the other partners. He convinced them what Hardman had done. You threw away any chance he might have had to become a brilliant lawyer when you had him sent to prison. For what? Just to appease your ego. He'll never be able to practice law, not with a prison sentence attached to him.” Harvey turned away from Jessica and picked up the folder from her desk and thrust it towards her.

“My resignation. And every one of my clients are leaving with me. You'll find letters of intent signed by them all to follow me. All the necessary paperwork has been turned in to Financial and Legal for the terms of separation for both myself and my clients.” Harvey waited only long enough for Jessica to take the folder from his hand before he turned away from her to walk to the door. He turned back as he had one more thing to say.

“I'll let you explain to Edward Darby why your firm is not as attractive as it was when you first started this merger. I'm sure he'll question why your financial statement isn't as promised or why your list of high profile clients is almost half of what he expected. Oh, but before you tackle how you are going to explain all of that, you might want to hear what Louis has to say first.”

Harvey left Jessica standing in the middle of her office with the folder clutched tightly in her fist. He passed Louis in the hallway and gave the other man nod as they continued on their separate ways. Donna was waiting for him in his office—his soon to be vacated office. All of his belongings having already been packed and carted away. The room was now just an empty shell with empty furniture, except for his briefcase and laptop case waiting for him on the desk.

“It's done. Louis should be with Jessica now. I see everything is packed and gone. Any trouble?” Harvey had turned back to Donna after having taken one last look around the room.

“No, no trouble here. Your things are already downstairs and secured in the moving van. Norma was about to give us some trouble, but Louis took care of her. I've got the moving crew in there now. They should be done soon. I should get back there to finish supervising. Were you going to wait for Louis?”

“Go ahead and get Louis' things finished up. I'll wait here. Louis and I were going to stop by Trey Hamilton's office on the way out to tell him in person. He can tell the rest of the partners. We'll meet you downstairs. Do you need help with your things?”

Donna was on her way out the door but paused, “No, my things are with yours. I just have my bag. I'll see you downstairs soon.” With a wink, she left Harvey in his empty office. Harvey turned towards the windows and impressive view for one last look. Looking at the corner, he could see Mike standing there for the first time, in awe of the view. He could see himself and Mike making out like teenagers in the spot farthest from the door out of view. He saw Mike on the couch, highlighter cap clenched between his teeth as he finished up briefs at the coffee table. His musings were interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

“Harvey” Louis said softly. “Donna is heading downstairs. We still want to stop by Trey's office on the way out don't we?” 

“Yes, we do. Did everything go alright for you with Jessica?” Harvey was curious as to the outcome of Louis' meeting but hated to let Louis know that.

“I don't know what happened between the two of you, but she barely said two words. She took my resignation, the letters of intent, everything without any argument. I'm not completely sure she even read them.”

“Let's go Louis, there's nothing left for us here.” Harvey picked up his briefcase and laptop bag and headed to the door. There was truly nothing left for him here. Mike's presence in this office had faded, Harvey was taking those memories with him, nothing left behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really happy with this chapter, but Harvey's confrontation with Jessica had to happen before we could move on.  
> Thanks for taking the time to read. Your comments so far have been very much appreciated. :-)


	7. Chapter 7

*Chapter 7*

Mike woke with another headache. Everyday had started with a mild headache that progressed throughout the day. He'd mentioned them to the nurse at the infirmary when he was sent in by his grounds maintenance guard after a severe bout of nausea. Caffeine withdrawal is what they decided on. He was no longer mainlining Red Bull and coffee and the withdrawal was brutal. Headaches, irritability, flu-like symptoms, depression and insomnia were just a few of his symptoms. Although he really didn't think everything could be blamed on the caffeine withdrawals but rather the situation he found himself in. He took in as much coffee as he could during the day to try and lessen the pain. But the nurses all told him it would just take time and since he'd been use to so much caffeine, the intensity and duration of these symptoms would be more severe. 

He made it through his work detail for the day and headed to the library. They usually had coffee all day long and he spent time reading to keep his mind occupied. He'd already been here three weeks and was slowing going out of his mind with boredom. He couldn't keep his mind busy enough not to dwell on things he tried to leave alone. He'd read everything that he could about grounds maintenance and gardening. He figured if he was going to be a gardener of sorts for the next three years, he might as well study up on the subject. He'd found several weekly internet blogs and magazines that he now read regularly. Out of habit, he still read the NY Times and found himself always looking through the business section and law reviews. Mike knew he really should stop reading anything legal but his heart wouldn't let him. He missed the intensity, the intellectual challenge, the intrinsic high of finding that little piece of information to blow a case wide open. He missed Harvey.

The fourth week of Mike's incarceration his headaches finally started to subside. He still had headaches everyday but they were not nearly as severe. The caffeine withdrawal was finally coming to an end. Coffee was still his staple to get him through the day. He needed it to stay awake and functioning. Sleep was still an elusive commodity. His sleep was so erratic that it seemed worse than when he was working as an associate. At least when he was working, that when he did get to sleep he could actually sleep and sleep like the dead. Now, when he closed his eyes his mind would not shut down. When it did finally give in to exhaustion, he would get the barest amount of rest before his dreams would take over-nightmares really. They started out relatively mild and what would be expected of his situation. Dreams of Harvey, leaving Harvey, Jessica blackmailing him into this outrageous situation. These were always agonizing and emotional when he would awaken and still feel the pain of having to walk away from Harvey. He would always go back to that morning that he had to leave Harvey behind. He'd slipped out while Harvey was still asleep. He felt like it was such a cowardly way of leaving but he knew if he'd told Harvey what was going on, he'd want to fight Jessica and Mike couldn't let Harvey take that chance. Mike regretted not saying goodbye in person. The letter he left tried to explain but he would have liked to have looked into Harvey's eyes, to let the other man know that he wasn't trying to hurt him by walking away. 

These dreams and nightmares moved from things that had happened to what he was afraid was happening. At first, it was just Harvey forgetting about him. He'd dream that once he'd be released he'd go to find Harvey and the older man would look at him with a look of confusion, without acknowledgment before recognition would set in. Lately, his dreams were more of Harvey not knowing him at all. He knew all of this was just his subconscious anxiety but the fact that he'd not heard a word from Harvey or Donna since he'd left only fueled his fears and depression. He'd held onto what he knew he'd had with Harvey. Mike loved Harvey with every part of his being and told him every chance he could. Harvey had given him everything he'd ever wanted and Mike had tried to give everything in return. The only thing he had wished for was to hear 'I love you' in return. He knew Harvey cared deeply for him. He thought he'd heard it once, but it was after a particularly passionate love-making and Mike was almost asleep. Mike had never pushed for it, he knew Harvey had commitment issues and felt lucky just to be part of the man's life. 

But the silence from Harvey spoke volumes to Mike. He'd told Harvey in his letter that he'd be better off on his own again. Mike meant what he'd written, he didn't want to pull Harvey into this situation any further than he already was but he couldn't deny that his heart had hoped that Harvey would still be there for him, even if nothing more than a friend. His depression was deepened by his less than rational thought and lack of sleep. Every day he tried to push a bit more of the desire to hear from Harvey into a box to be locked away so that when it was finally full, he could put it away and move on, just like he was sure Harvey was doing. But every day, thoughts of Harvey slipped back out making Mike miss him even more.

 

 

Mike found himself reading the NY Times out of habit during his daily visit to the library on this rainy day in November. It was a dreary day and his work detail had been busy with maintenance on the winter equipment. Mike was tired and barely paying attention to what he was reading when he saw it. There was a large spread in the business section with news of the legal community. The first headline that caught his eye was the expansion of Darby & Associates with a Manhattan office in addition to their London offices. There was a sidebar column from the editor that noted they had expected the big news to be of a merger of Pearson-Hardman with Darby & Associates to form a new firm of Pearson-Darby. But the unexpected exit of major senior partners and clients had reduced the value and attractiveness of Pearson-Hardman and the firm was instead absorbed into Darby & Associates. It was an even bigger surprise when it had been announced that Jessica Pearson had been voted out of power by the remaining partners of Pearson-Hardman. The sidebar column went on to state that the even bigger news that came out of the Pearson-Hardman news was the expansion of Fangman-Klein to Fangman Klein & Specter. 

Mike was momentarily shocked at the article and quickly scanned the remaining articles to find the announcement of the expansion of Fangman-Klein to Fangman Klein & Specter. Surprising the legal community, Harvey Specter, former senior partner with Pearson-Hardman had joined Fangman-Klein and in a coup had brought every one of his existing clients with him to the new firm. Not only had Mr. Specter left his old firm with all of his clients, he also brought with him tax law expert, Louis Litt, also a former senior partner of Pearson-Hardman and all of Mr. Litt's clients as well. Mr. Specter would assume co-managing partner duties with John Fangman while Mr. Litt would spearhead a revitalization of Fangman Klein & Specter's financial and tax division. The article went on the review how the addition of Specter/Litt's clients would boost the firms value and how this new firm was now considered to be one of the top ten law firms in the city based on client base, revenue sources, senior partner integrity, case statistics and credit ratings. Since joining the new firm, Mr. Specter has landed no less than three top clients within the city away from Darby & Associates and closed the deal to sign a new international client from France. Groupe Zanier, a French banking business that covers the areas of investment banking, corporate banking, private equity, asset management, private banking, and so on with holdings in both France and England, signed with Fangman Klein & Specter this week as their new lead council. In addition, two other senior partners from the former Pearson-Hardman had joined Fangman Klein & Specter.

Mike sat back and reviewed what he'd just read. Harvey left Jessica in a spectacular way. He smiled at the thought of Louis joining the new firm. Mike was happy that Harvey had taken Louis with him, Louis may have been a douche at times, but he really was an exceptional financial attorney. Harvey had taken the information Mike had left him to break the non-compete clause and get out of his contract. This gave Mike a small sense of satisfaction, knowing that he'd helped Harvey and he was so incredibly proud of him. He'd gotten his name on the door!! He deserved this and Mike was so happy for Harvey. He knew Donna would be Harvey every step of the way and they would ride this tide of good fortune to it's fullest. Mike searched for the Fangman Klein & Specter website. Navigating the site, he found the personnel bio's for Harvey and Louis. They both had new photos for the website. Harvey looked as handsome as ever, even moreso. Mike was pleasantly surprised with Louis' photo—someone, Mike suspected Donna, had helped Louis not look so.... rat-like. The momentary high of happiness for Harvey was suddenly overtaken by the realization that while Donna was with Harvey to support him, Mike was not. Harvey was moving on without him. It was exactly what Harvey needed to do and everything that Mike wanted for Harvey, but it hurt like hell. Mike walked out of the library, pushing more and more into the box to be closed away so that he could try and find the strength to move on as well. But the new image of Harvey's photo refused to be put in the box and lingered whenever he closed his eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey and Louis were settling into their own routines at FK&S. It had been a busy transition and Harvey had snagged a couple of clients out from under Darby to add to his roster. Scott had been trying to nail down a French client that had been referred by one of their clients from Belgium. He'd asked Harvey for his help knowing that Harvey could charm the pants off of just about anyone and the CEO of this French banking group was a hard-ass. Etienne Zanier was looking for new council that he could trust with his company and more importantly could handle his second in command—his daughter Francesca. Etienne would be semi-retiring soon and the company would then be run by his daughter. Harvey had found a way not only to persuade Etienne but also enamour his daughter Francesca. The signing of Groupe Zanier was a feather for FK&S.

Donna had been doing double duty for Harvey and Louis since Louis hadn't bothered asking Norma to come with him. She's spent the last two weeks interviewing for a new PA for Louis. Louis had been using an assistant from the temp pool but it was not looking good to become a long term relationship. More than once Harvey had questioned Donna as to why she was going out of her way to find Louis an assistant.

“What was wrong with that one?” Harvey's was annoyed that Donna was spending so much time on finding Louis an assistant. It was just one of the things that was irritating him lately.

“She hates cats. And she's too tall.” Donna was reviewing the resume of the next interviewee as she replied. 

“So? Louis doesn't have a cat.” A scowl accompanied that pissed off reply.

“Not right now, but he will. He'll get another cat, Harvey. And his PA will need to like cats so they can bond over the new feline in his life.” Donna stated this fact like she was speaking to a child.

“Why? Norma never 'bonded' with him.”

“Harvey, I need to find him a good assistant so that he'll leave me to do my job—being YOUR assistant. Unless you want me to continue doing both? If so, you owe me a large raise. As it is, you owe me a HUGE Christmas bonus and at least one pair of Jimmy Choo's with matching bag.”

“Fine, just.......... hurry up and find someone...........wait—too tall?”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harvey slammed the door closed to his penthouse when he arrived home that night. This wasn't the first time he'd come home irritated and angry. Donna spending her time finding an assistant for Louis was only part of his irritating day. He has two associates working on one case and between the two of them, they can't seem to manage to finish anything he needed in a timely manner. Mike would have.....Mike.......yes, Mike would have found what he needed and finished any other research he needed done. But Mike wasn't there. God-damn it, Mike wasn't here. Harvey threw the glass of scotch he'd just poured against the kitchen wall and watched it shatter. He felt like he was about to shatter as well. Everything he'd he'd been working for was coming together and at the same time everything felt like it was falling apart. He had to deal with everything on his own and when had that become a problem for him? When he'd let Mike into his life, into every part of his life. And now, Mike wasn't there to help him through any of it. Long ago, Harvey had decided he'd be best off alone with casual relationships and hook-ups that filled any needs he may have had. But somehow, Mike had gotten through his defenses and made a spot for himself in Harvey's world—his work, his home. And now he was gone and that made Harvey so damn angry. Leaving the mess of scotch and broken crystal for his housekeeper, Harvey changed clothes and went to the gym to run himself into exhaustion.

 

It went on for days: Harvey going to bed angry, waking up angry; arriving early at the office only to be annoyed by Donna's work for Louis; associates that couldn't find their own ass with two hands. Today, the weather even pissed him off as a light band of sleet passed over Manhattan as Harvey was on his way to work that had the potential to ruin a pair of shoes. The associate that had the unfortunate sense of timing to be the first to see Harvey with his requested research had been treated to a very loud and furious lecture on how the offered work was not up to the Harvey Specter standards. Fortunately, this was done behind closed doors and Donna was the only other person to hear the outburst. After the thoroughly chastised associate left to try and redeem themselves, Donna stalked into Harvey's office.

“What the hell has crawled up your ass lately? You're treating everyone like shit.”

“Donna, I'd be careful if I were you.” Harvey didn't want to have this conversation and he certainly didn't want a lecture from Donna.

Eyebrows almost to her hairline, Donna stood in front of Harvey's desk with her hands on hips; “Really? I don't think I want to be careful. You think I'm scared of you? I'm not. But the associates are all terrified of working for you. Great way to start off at your new firm, Harvey.”

Harvey stood slowly from his chair staring at Donna, anger rolling off of him in waves. “I have to put up with associates that can't cut it. I'm used to a certain level of work being accomplished and no one is getting it done. Don't tell me don't I have the God-damn right to put them in their place.”

Donna's voice softened as she responded to his anger. “Harvey, I know that none of these associates can give you the level that Mike gave to you, but you...”

“Don't—don't bring Mike into this.”

“Harvey, Mike is in the middle of this. No one can measure up to Mike, I get that. But eventually, you're going to have to find a compromise and learn to work with what you have here. You can't go on making enemies out of the people that work for you. You're the new named partner, co-managing partner. You really want all those people hating you already in your first month? If so, you're doing a bang up job, boss. If not, I suggest you ease off and find out what they can do for you instead of finding out how much they can screw you.” Donna turned and left the office. Harvey turned and looked out the window.

Harvey had a court appointment in the afternoon and Donna took this opportunity to visit John Fangman. She was worried about Harvey and needed someone to talk to. “Donna” John smiled at his new favorite red-head. He loved her sense of humor and take-no-bullshit-attitude. “What can I do for you this afternoon?”

“John, I'm sorry to take up your time, but...but I need to speak to you about Harvey. I'm worried about him.” John motioned for Donna to sit and he came to sit next to her. “Tell me what's on your mind.” Donna was hesitant only for a minute and then she told John everything that was bothering her. It wasn't something she would normally do, but this time, she couldn't figure out what was going on with Harvey and needed help. Donna finally came to the end of what she had to say and simply asked straight out; “John, is there something at the partner level that I don't know that is getting to him? I'm worried and I don't want him to screw this up for himself. He's worked too hard to get where he is to mess it up now. I'm not used to not being able to figure out what's going on with him.”

“Donna, I will tell you that Scott and I, as well as all the other senior partners, are thrilled to have Harvey here. What's he's done already is increasing the worth of our firm by leaps and bounds. I knew he would be a huge asset for us. Now, I'd heard this week that Harvey had been pretty hard on a couple of associates, I just didn't realize it was as bad as what you are telling me. I'm pretty proud of our associates pool, they're all top tier of their class. Are they really not measuring up to Harvey's standards?”

“No one is going to be able to measure up to Mike, John. And I'm not just saying that because of the relationship between Harvey and Mike. Mike really is that extraordinary. He could easily do the work of two to three, maybe four associates and think outside the box. Not that Harvey would tell Mike that very often. Ask Louis, he was the supervisor over the associates at Pearson-Hardman. When Mike and Harvey worked well together, they clicked like a well oiled machine, nothing could stop them. And Mike would give Harvey 150%---everyday.” Donna hated divulging secrets but these really weren't secrets and John needed to know. She only hoped that if Harvey found out she'd spoken with John, that he would forgive her, eventually.

Harvey's court appointment went well and he came back to the office in a better mood than he'd left. Trying to make some show of peace with Donna, he brought her favorite latte as an offering. Stopping at Donna's desk, silent communication between two long-time friends and coworkers ended with a smile and a nod. The rest of the day was rather quiet but productive. Donna was just leaving as John stopped by Harvey's office.

“Harvey, good day in court?” John made himself comfortable across from Harvey at his desk.  
“I got the injunction I needed and bought us the time we need to finish the Lake-Bower case. So yeah, good day. Was there something I can do for you?”  
“Yes, come with me for a drink. You've been all business since you got here. We haven't had any time to sit and talk lately. Come on, close up shop.” John headed for the door and then paused looking at Harvey expectantly.

Harvey really was not in the mood to go out for drinks but had sense enough not to turn down his old friend and new business partner. “Give me five minutes, I'll meet you at the elevator.”

An hour later, the two men were relaxing in a booth at an upscale bar near their office sharing a drink but Harvey had been growing suspicious for the last 15 minutes. “What do you really want to know John? I can tell you have another agenda for this little impromptu get together.”

“Harvey, you are running the associates ragged and they are scared shit-less of you. You need to ease up.” John made this statement with all the sincerity he could manage but at the same time with a hard edge.  
“Good, they should be scared of the senior partners.”  
“I don't want our firm to be based on fear, Harvey. The first firm I worked for out of Harvard was cut-throat and vicious inside those walls. I vowed that I would not have my own firm portrayed that way. And I don't think the associates are really the root of the problem. What really eating you?”  
“Nothing, I'm fine.”  
“Bullshit—now, what's going on?”  
Harvey really didn't want to talk about what was going on but he knew he needed to be honest with John.  
“I'm angry.”  
“Yeah, I got that part. At what or who?”  
Harvey stared at his scotch for a long time before answering. “Mike”  
“You're mad at Mike?” John leaned forward trying to understand. “I can understand you being mad at the situation, Harvey. I'm not sure I understand why you're mad at Mike. But I also don't think you're ready to talk about it. When you are, I'll be ready to listen.” Harvey was grateful that John didn't push for anything more and the two men finished their drinks in companionable silence and went their separate ways for the evening. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sleet turned to light snowfall in Otisville and the grounds crew had a full day of keeping the access roads and walkways free of ice and snow on this first day of winter weather. It was physical work that wasn't too demanding for a man that was in relative health. But for a man on the brink of exhaustion, it was overwhelming. Mike again hadn't slept well the night before and was bone tired by their lunch break. Sitting with the rest of his crew for lunch, he ignored most of his food and spent the time with his eyes closed.  
“Come on Mike, you need to eat something. We've still got the afternoon out there.” Curt Ren was older than Mike by about 12 years and was serving an 8 year sentence for embezzlement. He found the younger man to be witty and good company when he could get Mike to socialize.  
“I'm not hungry. I'll be fine. I'm just a little tired.”  
“You're never hungry. I don't think I've seen you eat a full meal yet. You sure?”  
“Yeah, I'll be fine. Thanks.” Mike spent the entire lunch hour resting, drinking coffee and listening to the others in the crew discuss the upcoming weekend football schedule.

The snow turned to mixed with freezing rain and remained light but steady throughout the day. The maintenance crew was busy salting more and more of the walkways due to the freezing rain. By 4pm, the freezing rain had almost passed through and just very light snow remained. The crew was on their way back to the maintenance garages to store the ice melt when Curt felt a tug on his sleeve. He stopped and turned just in time to see Mike collapse. He wasn't quick enough to prevent Mike from hitting his head on the concrete, but yelled immediately for their guard escort to help. All of the men from the group crowded around Mike, worried by the sight of the blood on Mike's temple from where his head struck the pavement and the fact that he was out cold. The guards quickly called the situation in to the security office and was advised it would be quicker for them to carry Mike to the hospital wing instead of waiting where they were. The guards split the crew, three men to carry Mike to the hospital while the remainder of the men continued on with their detail to the garages to finish for the day. Curt had volunteered to help with Mike and was able to answer some of the nurse's questions when they finally got Mike to the hospital entrance.  
“Did anyone see what happened?”  
“I turned just in time to see Mike collapse. He hit his head on the concrete.”  
“Did he slip on ice, did you see what caused him to fall?”  
“No, he didn't slip. When I turned around, his eyes were rolling up and he just collapsed.” 

The nurses and attending physician quickly took Mike into an exam room and the guard just as quickly got the three inmates out of the way and back to their detail. Mike was trying to come to by the time the nurses had him mostly undressed and starting their exam.  
“Mr. Ross.....Mike.....can you hear me Mike?”  
“Yea...yeah, I can hear you.”  
“Stay awake for me, Mike.”  
“I'm trying....”

An hour and a half later, Mike was finally able to stay awake for more than 60seconds at a time. The doctor walked into the room that Mike had been assigned to, making additional notes in Mike's chart. “Nice to see you finally awake, Mike. I'm Dr. Seigal. You've got a nasty gash on your temple where your head hit the ground. You've got four stitches now, but it shouldn't scar.” Mike absently raised his hand to feel the wound and gently probed the area with his fingers. “Thanks, can I go now?” Mike really didn't want to stay here. “No, we're going to keep you overnight. You've got a mild concussion and we need to monitor you. But I'm more concerned about a few other things than I am about your concussion.” 

Mike was looking very confused and the doctor took pity on him and continued. “Mike, you are moderately dehydrated and borderline malnourished. We were able to weigh you while you were unconscious, you've lost 18 pounds since you first came into this facility only four and a half weeks ago. I've sent some blood tests out and we should have some results back tomorrow. You didn't list any family history on your medical forms. Is there anything you know of in your background that can help me determine what is causing your condition?” 

Mike didn't meet the doctors gaze, instead staring at the opposite wall. “Mike?” Closing his eyes and shaking his head, Mike replied; “I don't eat—I'm not hungry so I don't eat. I don't sleep well. There isn't any underlying family history, I just.......I just …...” Sensing a better understanding of his patient, the doctor offered; “You haven't been able to adapt to this new situation and your new surroundings, have you?” Mike just shook his head no keeping his head down, not able to look the doctor in the eyes. “Do you have anyone that you can talk to? Have you had any visitors, family or friends that can help you talk through this anxiety and adapt?” Again, Mike shook his head no. “Well, we need to find some way to help you cope with the changes. But more importantly, we need to get you healthy. That will go a long way in helping you with these changes. You were on the light side of your recommended weight when you came in, I suspect you've had these eating habits for a while now. We need for you to gain some weight and stay properly hydrated. We'll discuss it some more tomorrow. Right now, I want you to try and eat some of the dinner that will be brought in for you, and rest. I'm going to have a nurse start you on some IV fluids to combat your dehydration. We'll be interrupting you throughout the night for concussion checks but rest as much as you can. We'll come up with a game plan tomorrow. Mike, if you have any questions tonight, the nurses can help you. I'll see you tomorrow.” Mike nodded and watched as Dr. Seigal left him alone. 

By the end of dinner, the grounds crew still had no word on how Mike was doing. No one expected to see Mike back in the dormitory that night with his head injury. Best case scenario was they would find something out the following morning. All of the men on the crew hoped Mike was ok, he seemed like a good guy—quiet but he'd been willing do whatever was asked of him. They've been stuck with other new members to the crew that didn't work out—but they all saw Mike as someone that would fit in well with their little group.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a few days, but Harvey was trying his best to lighten up on the associates at the office and play nice. He would still get irritated but was doing his best not to let it show. He was still angry at home and he was easily running 5 miles a night on the treadmill at the gym. He wasn't always able to run himself far enough to sleep but he was able to control his anger enough not to let it slip out at the office. Donna saw this as a good sign and thought now would be a good time to talk about Mike.

“Harvey, when are we going to go see Mike?” Donna had coffee for both Harvey and herself as she sat down across from him. Harvey looked up at Donna as though he'd never considered the possibility as an option. He had, of course, when Mike was first gone but his final transfer wasn't even made public so Harvey didn't even know where Mike was at the time. Next, Harvey was so busy trying to get things set up to leave Jessica, there just wasn't any time. Now, he ws so angry he didn't even think about visiting Mike. He couldn't understand why Donna was bringing it up.

“I've talked to Ray, this Thursday or Friday would be good days to drive up and see him. We could leave...”  
“NO”  
“What?? Why not?” Donna was completely baffled by Harvey's answer. She was sure he would want to go see Mike. And now that things were calming down with their transition in the new office, this would be a perfect time.  
“We're not going to go visit.”  
“Harvey, I don't understand. It's been weeks. We haven't gotten to speak to Mike since he left. Don't you want to see him?” Donna's expression was one of confusion.  
“No. End of discussion.” Harvey was looking through the file on his desk, not even giving Donna a glance.  
“I'm sure Mike would...” Donna was cut off by Harvey suddenly standing in front of her.  
“I said no. That's it.” Harvey turned away from Donna and picked up some files that one of the associates had left for him from the work table and returned to his desk.  
“Well, I want to see Mike. I'll go without you if I have to.” Donna walked back to her desk before Harvey had a chance to think about whether he wanted to reply. The rest of the week went by very quickly and Harvey was thankful that Donna didn't try to bring up the subject again.

The following Monday was a beautiful day, sun shining, brisk crisp air that let you know winter was in the air but only enough to fully enjoy the changes. Donna had spent the weekend trying to come up with a way to convince Harvey to go visit Mike. She was determined to go this week and she would prefer that Harvey go as well. She could easily rearrange his schedule on Friday, it was a light day and Ray had already told her he had set the day aside for the trip. The weather even looked good for the end of the week. Donna was about to go to the copy room when John Fangman stopped by her desk. “Good Morning, Donna” John had a smile for her that always set her at ease with him.  
“Good Morning, John. Harvey's not in his office right now, he's meeting with a client in the conference room. Is there something I can do for you?”  
“I stopped by to see you actually. I wanted to follow-up on our conversation from last week, to get your opinion. Harvey seems to have eased off and the associates aren't in a panic anymore. Is everything going ok?” John was speaking softly enough for only Donna to hear. He didn't want their conversation to be overheard.  
“He's seems more of himself, more in control and that's a good thing. But I know there is still something really bothering him. And I tried to talk to him about visiting Mike, we haven't had a chance to go see him but Harvey said no. I don't understand why he's saying no.” Donna was standing so that they could walk into Harvey's office for a bit of privacy. John followed her and closed the door. 

“Donna, he's mad at Mike.”

“I don't understand, why is he mad at Mike?”

“I don't know and I didn't push. He just said he was angry and that Mike was the reason why. I'm sure that's why he said no to visiting Mike. But I think he needs to go, don't you?” Concern for Harvey was evident on both of their faces. 

“He's hurting, I can tell even if he doesn't want to admit it. I know he misses Mike and I think a visit would help. But I don't understand the anger. I was going to go see Mike on Friday. I was hoping to convince Harvey to go, too.”

“Plan your trip and include Harvey. Make his schedule look full but have it clear. Don't tell him about the visit. We'll get him in the car and you just take him. He'll argue not to go if he knew ahead of time.”

“John, Harvey hates it when people manipulate him like that. He's going to be angry and want to fire both me and Ray for doing this to him.” Donna did not look convinced at John's plan, her eyes were wide with disbelief.

“Don't worry, I'll take care of Harvey. If he tried to fire you, I'll remind him that I want to hire you away from him anyway and this is the perfect set up to get you.”

Donna looked at John warily and took a step away from him. He smiled and laughed,  
“Carmen told me a couple of weeks ago she is pregnant. She'll go on maternity in about 6 months. This is her second child and I have to be realistic, she may opt to be a stay at home mom. I told Harvey that I was going to woo you away from him to be my assistant. He told me I couldn't afford you.” John's smile just grew at the expression on Donna's face.

“He's right, you probably can't afford me. Besides, it's taken me years to train Harvey. I don't know if I want to take the time to train you, too.” Donna returned John's smile. “But seriously, John, you really think we should just make him do this-go see Mike?”

“He needs to get past this anger and he can't do that if he doesn't face it. That means facing Mike.”

 

 

Friday was upon her before she could blink an eye. Donna had everything scheduled but was worried about Harvey's reaction to being forced into this visit. She had checked with the prison and was advised to call the day they would be traveling to be put on the visitors list. That was the last thing she had to do today other than get Harvey in the car. Her ruse to get Harvey out of the building was a scheduled client visit at their office. Harvey was finishing his preparation for this client meeting when he saw John stop by Donna's desk before entering his office. Harvey didn't notice when Donna walked away from her desk. 

“John, I'm just about to leave for a meeting with Carl Wise. He called this morning for a last minute review of his settlement. Is there something I can do for you?” Harvey was putting the files in his briefcase as he stood.

“No, no, just stopped by to see how you were doing. I'll be leaving the office soon. I'm taking off early today.”

Harvey smirked at his friend, “Playing hookie? I seem to recall you doing that at Harvard too, skipping out on Friday afternoons” 

“More like a mental health day. Heather and I have been fighting a lot lately. We're both really angry and I want to clear the air. I don't think clearly when I'm angry at her. I can't stand the thought of the one person I love and trust more than anything is unhappy and thinking that I've left them alone in a situation that seems beyond our control. I just need to spend time with her, let her know my love is stronger than my anger and we'll get through this like everything else.” John was watching Harvey's expression throughout his little speech. He thought he saw a glimpse of guilt and remorse pass over Harvey's face. “Well, I won't hold you up any longer. See you Monday, Harvey.” 

 

Ray was waiting for Harvey downstairs as always and opened the door as Harvey stepped up to the car. Before he was fully in the car he could smell Donna's perfume.  
“Donna, what are you doing? I'm on my way to see Carl Wise, you know that.” 

“Actually, you're not. There is no appointment with Carl Wise.” Ray had pulled out into traffic and they were instantly surrounded by mid-day Manhattan traffic. “We're going to Otisville. We're going to go see Mike.”

The look on Harvey's face was almost instant rage. “God-damn it, Donna. I'm not going to go see Mike now. Ray, turn the car around, I'm going back to the office.  
”  
“Sorry, Harvey. I have my orders from John Fangman to make sure you get to Otisville whether you like it or not.” Ray chanced a look at his angry boss in the rear-view mirror.

“Who the hell to you work for? Me or John? Pull the damn car over, I'll walk back, damn it.”  
Ray had swiftly made their way far enough away from the office and surrounded by enough traffic that Harvey couldn't leave the car without causing an accident.

“Harvey, you need to see Mike. You need ...”  
“Don't tell me what I need. You'll get your trip today but don't think you'll ever pull something like this again. You've stepped over the line, Donna. I don't like being played.” Harvey turned away to stare out his window. He didn't plan on making this easy for Donna either.

Ray and Donna shared a look that said they both hoped this worked out. The ride was eerily quiet. Ray had put in a soft jazz cd for some background music. During the course of the three and a half hour drive, Donna had tried several times at making conversation.  
“I found Louis an assistant. He was impressed with her, he didn't let her know that but I could tell. She starts on Monday.”  
Harvey never once looked at Donna or Ray and didn't say one word the entire trip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ross, you've got visitors today.” The guard that was with them on work duty had just gotten off a call and relayed the message to Mike. “You'll stay on detail until 2:30 and then you can go clean up before visiting hours.”  
“Visitors? I don't understand.”  
“Don't ask me Ross, just relaying the message I was given. Take it for what it's worth and enjoy the break.” The guard turned his attention to the other inmates under his watch and walked away.

Mike hadn't had any visitors in the six weeks he'd been at Otisville so this was all new to him. He had felt like he was getting into a routine that he could live with but this threw a kink into his mind set. Visitors was something that he stopped even considering, maybe not even wanted. It would just remind him of where he was. He didn't let his heart hope that it would be Harvey that was coming to visit. Too much time had passed. Mike got cleaned up and waited in the common room for whoever it was that he was supposed to see. 

Mike sat at a table in the far corner of the room next to a window. He could see the entry way but was far enough away that he would see whoever entered before they would spot him. He still didn't know who was coming to visit him. He had squashed any hope of having Harvey visit, it had been six weeks after all. If he was coming, he would have been here before now. Getting to a point that he just wanted this over with so that he could go back to what little routine he was trying to put in place for himself, he closed his eyes, bowed his head and ran his hands through his hair. It was this look of utter despair on Mike that greeted Harvey and Donna as they walked through the door and immediately spotted Mike in the corner near the window.

Mike was so deep into his own thoughts that didn't hear anyone approach the table.  
“Mike?” Donna's voice cut through to Mike and he looked up so quickly that he almost jumped out of his chair. He was overcome by Donna's smile that he just as quickly closed his eyes to commit it to memory. 

“Donna, why are you here?” Mike hadn't opened his eyes, still trying to make sense of what was taking place right now.

“Mike, we came to see you, we've been worried and ...”

Mike interrupted, “We?” Mike hadn't even noticed that Harvey was standing behind Donna until he once again looked at her. His focus was drawn immediately to how Harvey looked. Mike couldn't read Harvey's expression; relief, anger, frustration? Harvey gave him nothing but an empassive reflection that hurt deep down inside. Mike waited for Harvey to say anything but he got nothing. Finally, deciding that if he wanted to get this over with, he'd have to get it started.

“Harvey.”  
“Mike.”

Nothing, no emotion, no indication that there had ever been anything between the two men. Any onlookers would assume they were barely even friendly with one another. Mike just sat back down and turned to Donna. 

“You've seen me, there's really no reason for you to be here Donna. I appreciate you coming but you really shouldn't be here. I'm sure you have better things to spend your time doing than visiting a federal correction facility.”

“Mike, we've been worried.”

“Really?” Sarcasm was finding it's way into Mike's tone. “Really? I've been here 6 weeks and hadn't heard from anyone. Why now?” Mike couldn't look at either one of the people sitting across from him. Instead, his gaze wandered outside the window trying desperately to find some sense of calm.

“Don't speak to Donna like that. She's done nothing but support you.”  
“Oh now you have something to say to me? Yeah, Donna's been the one to support me. What about you Harvey? ”

“You look like shit.” Havey's tone was harsh.  
“Well, excuse me, I didn't have time to change into my party suit. But then, I didn't know I was going to have visitors either.”  
“Cut the attitude Mike.  
“God, you never change, do you Harvey?”

“You have no idea of what we've been trying to do for you. You have no God-damn idea of what we've been through.” Harvey got up from his seat and walked to another window, his back to Mike and Donna. His shoulders were tense and anger was rolling off of him.

“Mike, that's not fair. This is really hard on him.” Donna had reached out and grabbed Mike's hand. “A lot has happened since you were sent away. He's hurting without you.” Donna was trying to console Mike, rubbing circles on the back of his hand, trying to smooth through some of the tension. “He's right though, you look like shit Mike. What's going on with you?”

Snorting and shaking his head to the side, Mike pulled his hand out of Donna's grasp and sat back in his chair.  
“You think this has been a walk in the park for me? Knowing I had no choice but to walk away from him, from the life he gave me so that I could save him. It hurts. I hurt so much I hardly sleep, I hardly eat. I get through my days by finally having found some sort of twisted little routine for myself. I gave up everything Donna. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat to save his career, the life he built for himself. I knew he'd be angry with me. I knew that it would kill 'us'. But knowing that and having it thrown in my face are two different things. I don't know what you want from me. I honestly gave up on seeing him or you here, ever.”

“Mike, we'll never give up on you. He's mad at the situation, he's mad at Jessica for what she did, he's mad at not being able to control what happened. But he's not mad at you.” Donna was again reaching for Mike's hand. He could see the sincerity in her eyes.

Harvey walked back to their table and looked down at Mike, his eyes hard and enraged.  
“I'm so God-damn angry with you”

Mike looked from Harvey to Donna with such an “I told you so look” that Donna couldn't help but cringe.

“Harvey, I didn't have a choice...” Mike didn't have the energy to put any heat behind the statement. 

“You should have told me first!!!” Harvey was having a hard time keeping his voice in check and his fists by his side. He slipped into his chair trying to get his emotions in check.

“And what would you have done? What could we have changed? Harvey, I've looked at it from every conceivable angle every day for the last 6 weeks. There was nothing you could have done, nothing I could have done differently. Jessica would have made good on her threat to ruin you and I couldn't let that happen. Even if it meant losing everything, even if it meant losing you.” Mike leaned forward, putting his elbows on the table and just cradled his head in his hands, tugging at the ends of his hair. 

Donna stared at Harvey. Understanding his anger at Mike finally making it's way through her brain—Mike left him. No matter that he left to save Harvey, Mike left him. Whether Harvey will admit it or not, he's afraid of people leaving him and the one person he loved left him.

Harvey stared at Mike's bowed head, watching him pull his hair. He wanted to reach over and throttle Mike himself. But more than anything he just wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel that he was real and here. He wanted to feel Mike next to him.

“You both should just go, I don't want to argue any more.” words said so quietly that Harvey wasn't sure he'd heard them correctly. Mike didn't look up but heard the chairs scrape against the floor. With every sound, his heart broke into even smaller pieces. He didn't think he'd ever be able to put it back together, didn't think he'd ever want to.

Leaving with Donna, Harvey stopped and turned back to look at Mike. What he saw reminded him of watching Mike boarding the shuttle bus at the Precinct and the feelings hit him like a ton of bricks—how he'd felt at that moment. That morning six weeks ago, he couldn't get to Mike, he couldn't talk to Mike, he couldn't touch Mike.

“I can't do this again.” Harvey quietly muttered, brows furrowing together, eyes squeezing shut as if in pain.

“What?” Donna thought she heard Harvey say something but when she looked at him he just looked miserable.

“I can't live with that again.” 

Hesitating for only a second, Harvey walked back to Mike and grabbed his left arm pulling Mike up to face him. 

“I'm not leaving here with us at odds. I can't do it. I need to know you're still with me.” Harvey spoke softly while searching Mike's eyes for any sign that they weren't completely broken. What he found was sadness.

“It just about broke me---that first day. I had to watch as they drove you away, you didn't even know I was there. You'll know I was here today.”

Harvey palmed Mike's neck with his left hand as he pulled him in close. The kiss started out hard and possessive but as Mike reached for Harvey, they melted into one another. The kiss turned soft and conveyed everything they felt. As they pulled away only because the need for air was momentarily greater than their need to re-connect, Mike looked at at Harvey, memorizing every detail all over again. Harvey's eyes were still closed and Mike leaned in to whisper into his ear.

“You've been with me every minute since that morning. You're the only reason I've made it through the days. I'll be with you as long as you still want me, if you still want me. I'm so sorry. I was only trying to protect you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm so sorry.”

“God I've missed you.” Holding Mike after so long just felt so right.

Watching her favorite men finally connect, Donna couldn't help the tears that fell down her cheeks. All the pain and tension she'd seen in Harvey was falling away as she saw him tighten his arms around Mike. She knew it would be back again when they had to leave, but in this moment, there was nothing to be seen but the love and relief that they felt having the other man in their arms. Discretely, Donna wiped away her tears and walked back to the oblivious men.

“You know, you're putting on quite a show.”  
“I don't care.” Harvey all but growled at Donna but knew she was right. Reluctantly, he loosened his arms from around Mike and took a step back. Looking into Mike's eyes and seeing his emotions reflected in Mike, he could let go and just hold his hand.

Sitting once more, this time with Harvey by his side, Mike looked at Donna with heartfelt eyes and said, “Thank-you”

Their conversations got easier after that. It took a few starts before the two men could really talk without the anger and pain seeping in but they finally reached a point of compromise. Mike had told Harvey that he'd read about him joining Fangman and Klein and that he was happy for him. Donna filled him in on everything with Louis. Harvey gave him the inside track as to what he said to Jessica and how he made sure that she knew that Mike was the one to break her un-breakable contract.  
All the time, neither man could stop touching. Knees grazing, fingers entwined, leaning into each others shoulder....the need to connect and touch was overwhelming.

“Here's what you're going to do.” Leaning forward into Mike's space so that his message was conveyed with the proper authority. “You are going to finish your Bachelors Degree while you're in here. I don't care what it is—basket weaving for all I care. But you are going to have it. Then you're going to get your Masters—you'll have plenty of time to finish both with that crazy brain of yours. Get an MBA, I don't care.”

Pausing to think, Harvey ran a hand across his forehead and shook his head in frustration. Frustrated that he was going to have to leave Mike in only a few minutes and there was so much he wanted to say.  
“You can test out of most of your undergraduate classes. If the state won't pay for it that fast, I will. Hell, I'll pay for it all. You're going to have the damn piece of paper.”  
Mike started to object but was cut off by Harvey--  
“No one is taking you away from me again. Not for some petty shit like this”

Mike was concentrating on what Harvey was telling him. 'No one was taking him away from Harvey again' It settled something in his gut and then he broke into a smile. A real smile that reached his eyes.  
“What? What are you smiling at?” Harvey didn't understand what Mike could possibly be smiling at but oh, how he'd missed that smile.

“You---giving me orders, telling me what to do. It just feels right. Nothing has felt right until now.”

“Damn straight Rookie. I'll kick your ass if you don't get this done. You've got a deadline and you'd better beat it.” The stern message was lost since it was delivered with a shit-eating grin.

“You like my ass to much to kick it” Openly smirking and laughing with Donna, Mike leaned into Harvey and kissed that shit-eating grin off his face.

All too soon, it was time to leave.Donna pulled Mike into a tight hug, kissing his temple before pulling back to look at his face. Gently, she reached up to smooth down his hair, avoided looking him in the eyes. Mike held onto her, soaking in her comforting presence. It hit him just how much he loved Donna and how lucky he was to have her as a friend. Memorizing her face he saw the tears start to pool in her eyes. Smoothing his thumb gently under her eyes, he whispered “It'll be ok.” Donna's eyes darted to Mike's as she pressed her lips together to stop the tremble. She tried to smile but it came out as a grimace as she couldn't control the quiver of her chin or lips. Hoarsely, she replied, “Of course it will puppy. We'll get through this and will have an obedience training for you when you get home. Good puppies don't run away from home.” She'll never admit that the laugh she attempted came out more of a sob. She gave Harvey a glare to say, 'you didn't hear that' One more pat to Mike's cheek and Donna pulled away. “We'll be back to visit soon. Be safe.” And with that Donna had to turn away.

Harvey stepped into the space Donna had just occupied and pulled Mike into him. Mike held on tightly while resting his forehead on Harvey's shoulder. 

“Damnit” Harvey breathed out heavily, eyes closed.  
“I'm sorry” was mumbled into his shoulder.  
“You listen to me. You're going to keep your head down—stay off the radar and stay out of trouble. I couldn't......” Harvey stopped himself from finishing that sentence and turned his head to lean against Mike's temple. Breathing in sharply, his arms automatically tightened around Mike.  
“I'll start looking into seeing if we can't get you out of here any earlier.” he whispered.  
“Harvey...”  
Talking directly into Mike's ear, Harvey spoke quietly and quickly, “You may be in the minimum security camp but it's right next to a maximum security facility. Shit spills over. You need to be invisible at times. Promise me that you'll be careful.”  
Mike didn't respond right away. Harvey pressed in harder to his ear “PROMISE ME”  
“I promise. I 'll be careful. I promise.”

Harvey pulled back releasing the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Finding the confirmation in Mike's eyes he was searching for, Harvey leaned in and kissed his lips.

It was hard to walk away, even harder for Mike stand and watch. But knowing that they weren't broken, that there was still hope for them gave both men the strength to go their separate ways...for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter got away from me a bit, and this is after some major editing. Chapters won't normally be this long but I wanted this to have the prison visit and all that let up to it. I also want to say thank-you for all the comments. They are so encouraging, they truly make me smile. All mistakes in medical/legal areas are mine--I'm exercising my creative license.  
> Thanks for reading :-)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey continues to struggle with their situation and Mike starts to have doubts.

*Chapter 8*

The following two weeks after Harvey first visited Mike were busy but he made sure to make the time to see Mike each week. Harvey couldn’t help but notice the obvious sign of relief that overcame Mike's features every time that he walked through the door into the visitation room. It was as if Mike wouldn't believe that Harvey had come to see him until he actually saw Harvey's face. The anxiety would leave Mike's face and bloom into a spectacular smile that loosened the knot in Harvey's chest. His week was a countdown until he could see that smile again but sometimes, his week was still filled with the overwhelming sense anger at the situation.

Harvey had never put a label on his feelings for Mike and at times he pushed aside the emotions that were causing the almost physical pain he felt when thinking of the younger man. Harvey could admit he cared deeply for Mike, that their relationship was important to him. He could now also be honest with himself and admit that some of his current feelings were driven by guilt. It was his idea in that hotel room during an interview that never should have happened, that set this whole situation into motion. He'd been so confident that he could get away with his deception. His ego had gotten in the way of rational thought—who would question Harvey Specter's choice of associate? He was, after all, the best closer in the city. Mike was living a three year sentence because of Harvey's self-centered need to play the game his way. Mike may have made the choice to sacrifice himself for Harvey, but it was Harvey's lack of judgment that had brought him to that choice. 

 

 

 

 

The next week was Thanksgiving. At the end of their last visit, Mike had told Harvey that he didn't need to make the trip during the holiday. It wasn't important and Mike thought the older man needed some time to himself. Harvey could see it was one more way that Mike was trying to sacrifice himself for Harvey—pretending not to care about the visit. But Harvey also remembered that holidays were crucial part of Mike's relationship with his Grandmother. He knew that Mike had spent every holiday with Grammy and it was just one way of showing her just how important she was to Mike. Mike even spent part of Valentine's Day with Grammy to make sure she knew how much he loved her. This would be the first holiday season without his Grandmother and Harvey had already decided it was now his duty to fill that void for Mike, to show Mike that he was just as important. The quick flash of relief in Mike's expression wasn't missed by Harvey when he told Mike that he wouldn't be alone for Thanksgiving and that the only break he needed was from Louis. 

 

 

 

The week of Thanksgiving should have been a light week at the office for Harvey but he was suddenly drawn into handling the depositions for a suit that the firm's newest international client, Groupe Zanier was leveling against a smaller financial firm in England. Louis was handling all the financial aspects, but Francesca Zanier had specifically asked that Harvey handle everything else. Of course, American holidays don't have any place in French or English calendars and the week was extremely busy. Wednesday was upon Harvey before he knew it and still had at least a 10-hour day ahead of himself.

 

“Harvey, do you need me to make any final arrangements for your trip to see Mike this week?” Donna had walked into Harvey's office with the finished briefs that one of the associates had dropped off at her desk to be delivered to the senior partner. 

“No, thank-you Donna. I have a car already reserved at the club that I'll pick up tonight. I'll drive myself this week.” Harvey had set aside the files Donna handed him and was getting ready to leave for a meeting with Scott and Louis on the Groupe Zanier suit. 

“Make sure you tell Mike how much I miss him. His first Thanksgiving without Gram. I'll bet he's missing her. You could give him a kiss from me, too.” 

Donna's teasing smile was easily heard in her voice as she gave Harvey a wicked look. 

“I'm sure it's going to be crowded tomorrow with all the families visiting. Just make sure it's a PG rated kiss, there will probably be kids there. I'm glad you called early to get on the visitation list.” Donna started walking back to her desk as she asked; “Do you need anything else for your meeting? If not...”

“Wait, what do you mean called early to get on the visitation list? You have to call the day of the visit. I was going to call first thing in the morning.” Harvey was standing behind his desk with the files he needed for his meeting in his hands but his expression was one of confusion at what he'd heard.

“Oh Harvey........you haven't called?” Donna turned to face Harvey and the look on her face was one of almost absolute fear. “Holidays-----you have to call early. With all the families that want to visit, they are always overcrowded so......oh God, Harvey. I'm sorry, I thought you knew.” 

Donna had walked over to stand next to her boss. The expression on his face almost broke her heart. Reaching out to comfort him, she said; “I'll call for you while your in your meeting. Maybe I can still get you on the list.” 

Harvey left Donna at her desk as he walked to his meeting but it took all of his composure to concentrate on the case at hand instead of how completely he'd fucked up.

 

 

 

An hour and a half later, Harvey walked back into his office while Donna was on the phone. But the look on her face told him everything he needed to know. He's was going to let Mike down on the first holiday of his three year imprisonment. Donna followed Harvey into his office as soon as she got off the phone.

“I'm so sorry, Harvey.” Donna had tried everything she could think of to get Harvey on that list to see Mike on Thanksgiving. She'd never felt so incompetent in her life even though she knew it was nothing she could remotely control.

“It's not your fault Donna. I'm sure Mike will understand when I explain on Friday. He'll probably have some smartass reply about how I'm not allowed to give him shit anymore about forgetting things with his memory.” Harvey let out a frustrated sigh as he picked up one of the briefs Donna had delivered earlier.

“Actually....” Donna paused, not wanting to give Harvey any more bad news, “Saturday. I couldn't get you in for Friday either.” 

Harvey closed his eyes, tilted his head back and turned towards the windows behind his desk. A quiet “shit” escaped his lips as he dropped his chin to his chest. 

Donna continued to explain in an equally quiet tone; “I'm sorry, Harvey. I found out that Thanksgiving and Christmas are always like this. Those days they ask for the advance call and the visitations are expanded over several extra days to accommodate the overflow, sometimes for the 4th of July, too.” 

Harvey only gave a small nod to indicate that he'd heard what she'd said and stared out the window searching for a salve for his pain—no, for the pain he was sure to cause Mike. Harvey and Mike had talked about the six weeks that they hadn't seen one another after Mike turned himself in. He'd learned that Mike had felt abandoned even though it was his choice to commit to the course of action that led him to Otisville. Harvey realized that Mike's biggest fear was being alone and he'd been battling this fear ever since his parents had died. 

 

 

Donna silently left Harvey's office making a vow to herself. She was going to find a way to make an ally out of the administrative staff at the prison and learn everything she and Harvey would ever need to know about how to make life just a bit more bearable for Mike and themselves. She wouldn't let something like this happen to Harvey again.

 

 

 

Thursday morning was bright and beautiful but extremely cold. That morning at breakfast the list of inmates with visitors for the day had been distributed and schedules for the remaining inmates was posted. Work details were cut to only four hour shifts for the holiday. Mike had pulled morning detail on the grounds crew, their goal for the day was to make the facilities look nice and welcoming for the visiting families. After lunch, Mike kept to himself and spent the day in the library. He buried himself in a couple of civil war history books and then had used his allotted internet access researching the online classes he was considering. Anything to keep his mind from holiday memories of Grammy and wondering what had happened with Harvey. It felt like one of the longest days of his life.

 

Friday morning was overcast but just as cold as Thursday. The slight change of weather was the only noticeable difference between Thursday and Friday. Breakfast once again included the list of inmates with visitors and schedules for the remaining inmates posted. Again, Mike had the morning detail on grounds maintenance and then, spent the day in the library trying to keep his brain occupied while being completely bored out of his mind. Saturday morning was a surprise. An unexpected ice storm had hit the area from just north of Otisville to south and west of New York City. Heavy ice downed power lines and made travel treacherous. Fortunately, the correctional facilities had their own generators so they didn't lose power at all that day as the freezing rain and ice continued to pummel the area.

 

 

Harvey had called his brother Marcus on Thanksgiving to wish him a happy holiday. He easily dodged questions of his love life and filled his brother in on his career move. Over the last year and a half, Harvey had told Marcus of Mike his associate, but not of Mike his lover. Marcus knew that Harvey was bisexual and didn't care one way or the other. But Harvey didn't usually talk about the people he was involved with to Marcus, or to anyone for that matter. With nothing to do for the remainder of the day, Harvey busied himself with case files that he'd brought home. He paced himself so that he would have something to work on Friday as well. There was no way Harvey was braving the Black Friday shopping frenzy and planned on staying in all day. But planning and doing were two different things. Harvey was bored out of his mind trying to stay occupied and by Friday evening, had to get out of his penthouse. There was a new artist opening at a modern art gallery that he enjoyed and that sounded like a good way to spend a few hours out of the apartment. 

 

 

 

Walking into the gallery was just what Harvey needed to engage his mind. Wide open space with intriguing paintings; beautiful people dressed in beautiful clothing; somewhat intelligent conversation that he could easily insert himself. Admiring an abstract painting done all in shades of blue, Harvey was surprised to hear someone call his name. 

“Harvey, what a surprise to see you.” 

Turning to see who had spoken to him, Harvey found Francesca Zanier behind him looking particularly stunning in a Dior ensemble of white silk and navy wool. She smiled easily at Harvey as she stepped closer. 

“What a pleasant surprise, Harvey. Do you enjoy this artist?” 

Harvey took a step to the side in order to face Francesca. 

“Good evening, Francesca. I enjoy this gallery, they usually promote talent that falls in line with my tastes. What about you? Are you enjoying the artwork?”

“I'm enjoying a night out with a very close friend and her husband. They wanted to stop by the gallery, the artist's agent is a close friend of theirs. You seem to have been admiring this piece, is it something you would consider in line with your taste?” 

The smile on her face had reached her eyes with an inquisitive feel as she turned back to appraise the piece in blue.

“The color caught my eye. I haven't made a decision whether I like it or not, just admiring the variations of color for now.” 

Harvey joined Francesca, returning his gaze to the painting. The shades of blue bordered on crystal to cloudy and he could easily get lost in them, like getting lost in Mike's eyes.

“My friends and I are going out for drinks when we leave. Why don't you join us, Harvey? It would just be the four of us, I know that they would not mind. A quiet evening to get to know one another better, hmm?” Francesca had placed her hand on Harvey's arm pulling his attention away from the painting.

“Thank-you, but no. I have an early morning. I won't actually be staying much longer. I hope you enjoy the rest of your evening, Francesca.” 

Harvey gave her a small nod and polite smile as he progressed to the next painting. Francesca's eyes followed Harvey as he made his way through the crowd. Later, after Harvey had perused the rest of the exhibit, he made his way back towards the abstract in blue for one final look. Finding his way back to the painting, his left hand found it's way into his pocket where the familiar weight of Mike's watch felt comforting as he brushed the cool metal. He was a little disappointed to see that the painting had already been tagged as SOLD.

 

 

 

Harvey had planned to get an early start on Saturday giving himself plenty of time for the drive to Otisville, stopping for breakfast and coffee on the way. Stretching as he got out of bed he turned towards the glass wall, it seemed to be another overcast day. What greeted him was a balcony completely covered in ice, thick ice. Thinking of the car he'd gotten from the car club, he shook his head knowing that it would not be the pleasant drive that he had been hoping for, the model he'd gotten was a rear-wheel drive performance car. For this weather, it would be best to have an all-wheel drive vehicle, front-wheel drive at the very least. Turning on the cable weather channel to see just how bad driving conditions were supposed to be, Harvey hung his head as the weather-caster advised of freezing rain and ice all day continuing into the night. Changing channels to local news, the top story of the morning was the ice storm that was bringing the city to a halt as it was strongly advised not to travel as conditions were hazardous. Icy conditions were to continue overnight and into Sunday. Store closings and community event cancellations were running at the bottom of the screen. Retailers were calling this a disaster as they had only gotten one day of the opening holiday shopping weekend before the storm shut down sales. Neighborhood bodegas and convenience stores were reporting early morning runs by shoppers clearing out the milk, bread and alcohol aisles. 

 

Harvey sat down heavily in the chair in his bedroom after having grabbed his phone from the bedside table. The call to Otisville yielded a recorded message stating that due to weather conditions, inmate visits were suspended for the day and possibly the next day as well. Callers were advised that road conditions leading to the correctional facility from all directions were considered dangerous and the facility would be closed to all incoming traffic except for emergency situations. Harvey ended the call, he wasn't even given an opportunity to leave a message to get to Mike. Harvey was angry and disappointed, not only for Mike but for himself. He really was trying at this, to be available for Mike, but nothing was working out as planned. 

 

 

 

The following weekend provided another disappointment as John and Harvey were called out of town on Friday to meet with a client in Philadelphia. It would take the entire weekend to strategize a way to block an unexpected take-over attempt of their clients software company. Harvey had planned on using any bribe necessary to convince Donna to go to Otisville and explain to Mike what had been going on but his black credit card was saved from potential damage – Donna offered before he even asked. 

 

 

Donna had been waiting for 15 minutes before Mike finally made his way into the visitation room. She smiled in relief as she watched him make her way to the window seats she had secured for the two of them. Bending down to her, Mike caught her hand and gave Donna a kiss on the cheek as he sat. Donna noticed that Mike had made a sweep of the room searching for Harvey. 

“I'm sorry, Mike. Harvey and John had to go to Philadelphia on emergency business yesterday. They won't be back until Monday at the earliest. He tried everything to not to have to go. He wanted to be here to see you.” Donna had taken Mike's hand in hers, gently stroking the back of his hand.

“The weather isn't the only thing that screwed up his Thanksgiving visit, Mike. It was my fault he wasn't here to see you Thursday or Friday. He was scheduled for Saturday but then the ice rolled in....”

“Donna, it's not your fault. We both know this isn't going to be the only time that Harvey has to bail on a holiday or any other regular visit. He has a life, he's an important man with a job to do. I'm just....” Mike turned his head, not wanting to look Donna in the eye anymore. 

“Mike, you are important to him, too. He really was disappointed about Thanksgiving. John knew that he had plans to come see you this weekend and they both tried so hard to make it happen.” 

Donna tried to get Mike to look at her, but he just wouldn't move. The two sat in silence, Donna holding Mike's hand in hers desperately wishing she could do anything to make the younger man feel better. Mike closed his eyes and leaned slightly towards Donna soaking up her presence. He missed the feeling of being close to another human being, one that actually cared about him. He didn't know if he'd ever get used to this empty feeling for three years. Donna held on tighter as they spent their time quietly, there really was nothing she could say. The sounds of the room washing over them.

 

 

“Tell me what I can do for you.” Donna knew her time with Mike was coming to a close. She wanted to have some ideas of things to do for her puppy before she had to leave him.

“There is something I need help with.” Mike looked up, unsure if he could ask.

“Anything Mike. Just tell me what you need.” 

“I can't access my bank account. I've been researching the courses I need to take but I'm going to need the funds to pay for it. I should have enough put away to finish my bachelor's degree but I can't even get to my own money. I just don't have anyone that can help me. If Grammy........”

“I'll take care of it. You have me and Harvey, Mike. I'll have a power of attorney drawn up and faxed so you can sign and fax back. That will get us into your accounts.” Giving Mike's hand a long squeeze, Donna made sure she had his attention.

“You have me and Harvey.”

Mike held her gaze and Donna gave a small sigh of relief as she was rewarded with a smile that almost reached Mike's eyes.

 

 

Donna spent her return trip to New York going over the information Mike had given her on the coursework he was considering, the funds he estimated he needed and how much he thought he had in his account. He had also explained that he may need help to secure additional internet access in order to have time to complete the study work. Donna was planning her week in advance to get things done as quickly as possible for Mike. She would call the director of inmate affairs on Monday and find out how to set up an account that would serve all of Mike's needs and get him whatever he needed to complete these classes. Those things would likely be the most difficult things to accomplish given the bureaucratic red-tape she would have to cut through, but certainly not impossible. With a plan in mind, Donna sat back to relax for the remainder of her trip home.

 

 

December both flew by in time and crawled at a snails pace for everyone. The weather stayed cold with only light flurries. Donna had managed to handle all of Mike's requests and he was able to register for the online courses. Harvey had insisted that Mike's account not be touched. The money transferred into the account for Mike was from Harvey's accounts, more than enough to cover any of his needs. Mike had been able to have several telephone and internet conversations with the school's admissions and guidance counselors and was all set to start in January. Harvey had only been able to visit once during the month before the Christmas weekend arrived. But he had planned ahead and was already on the Christmas list of visitors and had his schedules prepared. He was looking forward to seeing Mike, it had been far too long. Harvey struggled with his own loneliness, he didn't know how Mike handled his. The firm was wrapping up the end of year client needs and everyone was looking forward to some much needed down time as they closed down most of the office from December 23rd through January 2nd. Seasonal office staff would maintain the office taking messages and handling scheduling needs along with the occasional emergency calls that would be routed to various senior partners. Donna had booked a much needed vacation with her sister to a sun filled retreat off the coast of Florida and was looking forward to nothing more strenuous than deciding which drink to order from handsome cabana boys. 

 

 

Harvey got the first call at 2:08a.m. Christmas morning. Virginia Commonwealth University Hospital in Richmond was calling to locate the next of kin of Marcus Specter. It was advised that travel arrangements be made as soon as possible. The call from the detective assigned to the case was about 30 minutes after Harvey had hung up from the hospital, 30 minutes had been just enough time for him to get emergency air travel arrangements made. The airline was able to book him on a flight out of JFK at 6:25a.m. arriving into Richmond at 9:04a.m. Detective Steve Moss explained that Marcus was a victim of a home invasion. Two people had broken into Marcus' home just before 11pm. Marcus had been stabbed numerous times to the head, neck, shoulder, arm and ribs. One suspect had escaped but police had the other suspect in custody thanks to Marcus' neighbors. Detective Moss would meet Harvey at the hospital later in the day. Harvey spent the next 12 days in Richmond, Virginia. The first 8 days at the hospital with his brother, the last 4 days getting home health care settled for Marcus so that Harvey could return to New York. New Year's Eve had been spent by Marcus' hospital bed. While his brother was battling nightmares of the attack, Harvey was battling his own bad dreams of lonely nights and an even lonelier bed.

 

Harvey had been quietly cultivating a relationship with the warden at Otisville. He'd wanted to be able to have access to information concerning Mike and any situations that might arise at the prison. But right now, he was thankful that he could use that relationship to get emergency messages through to Mike. Normal channels didn't allow for any messaging to inmates. Mail and scheduled telephone calls were the methods of communication other than limited internet access to email. Harvey hadn't wanted Mike to think that he was once again abandoned for the holidays. Harvey was beginning to wonder if he'd ever be able to make things right with Mike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

January was difficult for Harvey. After returning to New York from Richmond, he was overloaded with work trying to catch up not only from his absence while being with Marcus, but from the holidays. He tried his best to be fair to the associates working with him, but never had he needed Mike's abilities more than he needed them in the office now. Harvey was able to make time to see Mike the weekend before Harvey's birthday but it was an awkward visit. Harvey told Mike about what had happened to Marcus and how he was slowly recovering. Mike was grilled on his coursework, what he'd registered for, how fast he thought he would complete his classes, what his next steps were. Mike felt as though he was on the receiving end of one of Harvey's depositions and he didn't like it. It felt like all the emotion he'd felt from Harvey when they'd first seen each other in the prison had evaporated. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut until it was time for Harvey to leave. Harvey had reached for Mike and gave him one of the most passionate kisses that Mike could remember, full of need and want. Mike never figured out why Harvey ended their visit in such a way instead of starting it that way.

 

The months started passing them by without really being noticed. Mike had already tested out of a lot of classes working his way to the few senior level courses he would have to actually complete. He had gotten used to the routines he set in place for himself. Working his grounds detail and learning about winter maintenance transitioning into spring maintenance and gardening. Finding the time to get through his study plan to stay on schedule for his planned coursework. Staying busy and keeping his mind occupied gave him a temporary reprieve from the overwhelming ache of loneliness.

 

Harvey's weekly visits moved to bi-weekly visits and by late spring, they were down to once a month. Mike never questioned Harvey and never once complained. He didn't feel as though he had the right to complain. But their visits were becoming more strained, not the ease of familiarity that had always been between them. Mike had noticed Harvey in the paper, legal news with the firm mostly, but sometimes in the society and gossip pages. Always with Francesca Zanier. Once, in late June after seeing a picture of Harvey at a polo match in the Hamptons with Ms. Zanier, Mike just had to ask. Harvey said it was just business with Zanier. Mike let it go even though the photos looked like more than just business to him. But Harvey didn't lie to him----right? He was always on Mike's case about honesty. Harvey still gave Mike shit about keeping the reasons for his weight loss from him.

 

Mike had relied more on the group of guys on the grounds maintenance crew for friendship. He and Curt Ren had become pretty good friends having found some common ground. Mike had also met a new inmate that came into the system in late March. Charles Martindale, former New York State Senator that had been convicted of Federal income tax evasion sentenced to 14 months. Charles took an instant liking to Mike and they spent a lot of time together discussing history, politics, and the law. Charles was a Yale law graduate. Charles' wife, Jeanette, also instantly took to Mike. So much so that she mothered him every weekend when she came to see Charles, bringing cookies and other baked goods claiming Mike was just too thin for his own good. Mike looked forward to her visits. She gave him that sense of comfort that he missed since Grammy had passed, but even more of the feeling of having a mom; it was what he missed most since his mother had died so long ago. Mike had overheard Jeanette telling Charles that if they'd had a child, she would like to think he'd have been like Mike. From that moment on, Mike did his best to play the part. It easily became second nature as he grew to love Charles and Jeanette as they did him. He knew it was dangerous—Charles was sentenced to only 14 months, with good behavior he'd be out in 10-11 months. And then Mike wouldn't have Charles and Jeanette in his life any longer. But he decided he'd take what he could get. Harvey was hardly there for him anymore and he missed Grammy. Charles and Jeanette made him long for what his life might have been if his parents hadn't died. He found himself wishing for a lot of things these days.

Mike kept busy working on the maintenance crew, studying, and developing his friendship with Curt and almost family-like relationship with Charles and Jeanette. It helped keep the hurt and loneliness of not seeing Harvey at arms length. But every night, Mike's dreams would betray him and return him to memories of being close to Harvey, nights of slow, passionate love-making, or flashes of pure lust driven sex where neither man could get close enough fast enough. Mike would wake up in the mornings reaching for Harvey only to find himself alone in a small twin size bed wondering if Harvey missed him half as much as Mike missed Harvey. He was often afraid of the answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

 

Harvey walked in wearing Armani while Francesca wore signature Dior. They were perhaps the most beautiful couple attending the charity function. Anyone from New York society was accounted for and all of FK&S was in attendance. Donna looked amazing in a Donna Karan one shoulder gown in royal blue. Only the small worry lines marred the beautiful picture she presented. Donna watched as Harvey and Francesca swept the room and made their greetings looking like the perfect couple. She had been increasingly worried about how much time Harvey was spending with Francesca and knows all too well what she has been watching develop over the last 7 months. She's seen how Francesca reacts around Harvey; the looks, the touches, the increasing familiarity. All more evident tonight as Francesca was draped over Harvey's arm, looking far more intimate than Donna was comfortable witnessing. Harvey looked just as much at ease with the Frenchwoman and that scared Donna more than she really wanted to admit. 

 

Harvey didn't leave Francesca's side all evening, at times even keeping a hand on the small of her back even when just standing together. Donna had been discretely watching all night, her heart sinking with every passing hour. Mike always close in her thoughts, wishing he was in Harvey's thoughts as well.  
But duty called and Donna's attention was diverted as she was called into service by John and Scott. They had asked her to help organize one of the fund raising events for the evening and it was now showtime. After Donna had fulfilled her fund raising obligations, she had a moment of despair—she couldn't find Harvey in the crowd. Making another round of the ballroom, she spotted Harvey and Francesca on on the balcony sharing a glass of wine looking very intimate. 

 

“Harvey, have I told you how handsome you look tonight?” Francesca steps closer to Harvey and lays her hand on his forearm, looking at him through hooded eyes. “You always take my breath away” Francesca continued as she took another step closer. Her expression was unmistakable. Her gaze never left Harvey's face as she set her wine glass on the table next to them and leaned into Harvey. 

Looking into Francesca's eyes, Harvey couldn't help but note how beautiful she was. Her eyes were sparkling, her lips were moist, he could feel her breath on his neck. He hasn't felt this kind of attraction directed at him in a long while. It's a heady and powerful feeling knowing someone has all of their energy focused on you and you alone. Setting his wine to the side, he took Francesca's hand in his and drew her closer. Leaning into her, his eyes were fixed on her lips.

“It's unethical to have a relationship with a client.” His breath ghosted over her cheeks as he spoke.

“I'm technically Louis' client, Harvey.” Francesca's voice was almost desperate with need.  
“We've been dancing around this for months. Is it unethical to become friends, too? I can't be a proper friend without developing feelings. And I've developed deep feelings for you, Harvey. I want to show you.” 

Francesca closed the small remaining space between them, her lips softly sliding against his. Soft and sensual as she slowly moved her hand up his arm to rest on the nape of his neck. Harvey watched as Francesca moved towards him, her eyes fluttering closed as she slid her lips across his. Feeling her hand on the back of his neck, he pressed his lips to hers, deepening the kiss. Harvey dropped the hand he was holding and pulled her closer to his body, gently cradling her face with his other hand. It felt so good to have someone in his arms. Slowly, Harvey broke the kiss and tilted his head back far enough to look at Francesca.

“Take me home, Harvey.” It sounded almost like she was begging him, her eyes searching, trying to convey just how much she wanted to be with him. Seeing nothing but her desire for him, Harvey broke their embrace and guided Francesca towards the door.

 

 

Donna had turned away from the balcony, several guests were congratulating her on the success of her auction. When she could finally return her attention to the balcony, she saw the end of the kiss and watched as Harvey maneuvered Francesca through the crowd without drawing attention to themselves and towards the doors. She made no motion to stop him, it wasn't her place. But her heart broke as she thought of Mike and what this might mean to Mike and Harvey's relationship. Suddenly, no longer being in the party mood, Donna said her good-nights to Scott, John and their wives claiming a sudden headache and the need to go home. Thank goodness she decided to go alone to this event knowing she'd be too busy to entertain a date. Walking out the hotel doors, Donna watched as a stretch limo pulled to the curb and the hotel doorman reaching to open the door for the couple at the curb. Only then did she realize it was Harvey and Francesca. 

As he waited for Francesca to enter the limo, Harvey felt as though someone was watching him. He turned to scan the street and then the hotel door. His eyes briefly made contact with Donna as she stood frozen in place before he heard Francesca call his name. As if on autopilot, Harvey effortlessly slid into the limousine as the doorman stepped up to close the door. Donna didn't move as she watched the limo pull away and was instantly swallowed in traffic. She couldn't remember a time she'd felt more disappointed in someone.......in Harvey.

 

 

Closing the door to her hotel room, Harvey turned to watch as Francesca moved to the bar to pour them both a drink. No words had been spoken between the two since Francesca had asked Harvey to take her home. Small touches, longing glances and an elevator ride filled with a passionate kiss brought them to this point; facing one another in front of the impressive view offered by the windows overlooking Central Park. Harvey took the wine glasses from Francesca's hands and set them both aside. Francesca smiled at Harvey and stepped in close to him, laying one hand on his lapel, the other gently stroking his cheek.

“I have wanted this moment for so very long.” Francesca whispered as she moved even closer and brought their lips together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sundays were usually a lazy pace at the prison, work details were very limited and the inmates had more free time. Mike was spending his Sunday in the library, studying for the last two classes that he could test out of before having to start the four senior level classes he wasn't allowed to test out. Then he'd be done with his Bachelor's degree. Needing a short distraction, Mike decided to take a break with the _NY Times._ He wasn't expecting Harvey or Donna today. They both had told him last week that they probably wouldn't make it—the charity event was Saturday and they both would be catching up on Sunday to get ready for Monday. He understood, thinking back to the times that he'd had to attend, he remembered that those charity events were always a drain on his limited energy reserves. But knowing how big this particular event was supposed to be, he was curious and hoped to find some photos in the society pages. If nothing else, just a line or two on how Donna's fund raising had fared. There was a full page spread devoted to the charity event. Mike was pleasantly surprised, it was bigger than he had anticipated, the event larger than Donna or Harvey had led him to believe. Glancing through the photos, he smiled as he found a small bubble photo of Donna in all of her goddess glory looking absolutely stunning in royal blue. He decided then that he'd ask the librarian to make a color copy of the print for him to keep. He'd be sure to tell Donna how beautiful she looked the next time he saw her. 

Thinking he wouldn't find any other photos as interesting as Donna's, Mike only glanced at the rest of the page before reaching for another section of the paper. He almost missed it---a picture of Harvey, but what really caught Mike's eye was the way Harvey was holding the woman next to him and the look in Harvey's eyes. Mike recognized the woman, Francesca Zanier, he'd seen other pictures of Harvey and Ms. Zanier over the course of the last several months: yachting, art galleries, dinner, other charity events—all had made the society pages over time. Harvey had told him about Louis handling the financials for Groupe Zanier and the he, Louis and Scott together handled the overall account. Mike knew that handling the account and keeping the client happy often meant social events. Mike had ignored the previous photos he'd seen but couldn't ignore this one. He knew the look on Harvey's face. He'd been on the receiving end of that look and it always ended with a well fucked feeling the next morning. Obviously, all the time spent with Francesca Zanier was more than just business as Harvey had once told him. Mike stared at the photo for a few minutes before noticing the caption under the photo:  


_Harvey Specter, of Fangman Klein & Specter, is accompanied by Ms. Francesca Zanier, soon to be CEO of Groupe Zanier of Paris upon the retirement of Etienne Zanier. This columnist has watched the evolution of the Specter/Zanier relationship, so clearly evident this evening as they were never apart and spotted sharing a romantic embrace on one of the many balconies of the hotel. The couple was spotted leaving the event early, arm in arm._

Mike was interrupted from his thoughts as someone called his name, “Ross, you've got a visitor.”

 

 

 

“Donna, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you, Mike.”

“Why? So you can ease Harvey's conscience tomorrow?” Mike couldn't help the bitterness that tinged his voice.

“Oh Mike.......I'm so sorry.”

“Sorry?” Sarcasm lacing in with the bitterness now. “What are you sorry for Donna? Sorry for NOT telling me or that I figured it out? It seems that you've said you're sorry for Harvey more times than you should.”

“Mike, I swear I didn't know how far it had gotten.” Donna found herself in unknown territory, not knowing how to explain and convince Mike she was telling the truth.

“Oh really – you, YOU didn't know. I find that impossible to believe. And just how far has it gotten? How long has he been fucking her? I could maybe live with that – it's not like he can fuck me, but not the lying. Not after all the bullshit he's given me about being honest and everything. God, I really am a fucking idiot.” 

Mike turned away from Donna running his hands through his hair and down his face. He dropped his chin to his chest as he squeezed his eyes shut trying to block out the images running through his mind. Using his hands like a vice, he pressed his temples until it hurt, he needed the pain to clear his head. Turning back to Donna, Mike stared at the woman he trusted with so much of his soul.

“You should go home, Donna. Thank-you for coming all the way here but you didn't need to.”

“But I wanted to......I wanted to be sure you were alright.”

“I'll be fine, Donna. Nothing changes for me. I'm still here. I'm still alone, even more than I had thought. You should go, it'll be late by the time you get home.”

“You're not alone, you still have me.” Donna searched Mike's eyes, trying to see what what the younger man was thinking.

“I'll see you next week, Mike.”

“No, Donna. You won't.”

“What?” Confusion clearly evident in Donna's expression, she was immediately scared of what Mike was trying to say to her.

“I don't want you to come back, Donna.” Mike's voice was hard, his look almost intimidating.

“Mike....I don't understand.”

“You're an extension of Harvey, Donna. I don't want or need that now.” 

“Mike.....” Donna had drawn back just a bit, Mike's reply had been almost scathing. 

“Donna, you've always been a part of Harvey. I was lucky enough to be included in your world but we've always known that when the time came, you would choose Harvey over me and I'm fine with that – it's the way it should be.” Mike's face was unreadable but his eyes told her that he meant every word he was saying to her.

“I don't want to choose.”

“And I'm not going to let you. I'm making that choice for you. You belong in his world, not mine. Don't come back here, Donna.” Mike walked away feeling angry and hurt, feeling more alone than he'd ever felt in his life.

The drive back to New York was a blur, Donna's not sure how she made it from point A to point B.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere apologies for the long wait for this chapter. For those that read ending chapter notes, a bit of a spoiler--this is story ultimately has a happy ending even though right now, it is anything but happy for Mike. Life sucks at times and is full of pain, both physical and emotional. Extreme conditions, especially where one appears to have no control over their current situation, only seems to intensify the actions and emotions being experienced at the time. I will admit that I am one that enjoys finding my favorite characters in extraordinary conditions.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harvey has to deal with the results of his actions.

*Chapter 9*

Monday morning Harvey arrived at the office before Donna which was a rare occurrence. He had just settled into his chair, opening email when he heard a knock at his door.

“Mr. Specter, I'm Julie Short. I'll be filling in for Donna while she's out. Here is your schedule for today. Please let me know.....”

“Excuse me, why is Donna out?” Harvey interrupted the petite blonde, his brow bunched together in worry. “I've had no calls or messages from Donna this morning.”

“Donna called in sick this morning. In fact, she said she didn't expect to be back tomorrow, that she'd let HR know. I'm sorry, I just assumed you knew.” Having only been with the firm for three months, Julie Short had heard numerous stories about all of the senior partners and a few warnings about the named partners. Specifically, Mr. Specter had high standards and don't get on his bad side being foremost in her mind at the moment. She'd heard tales of his charm and wit; horror stories from associates that had been less than impressive to the senior partner; and most of all, the loyalty between assistant and partner that was unparalleled in the firm. She only hoped she could adequately fill in for Donna in her absence.

“No, I didn't know. Thank-you.” Harvey gave the small blonde a small smile and curt nod before returning to his email. But instead of reading, Harvey was simply staring at the screen. In all the years that Donna had worked for Harvey, she'd called in sick only 3 times and always called him directly. He seriously suspected she was not sick this time. He remembered the look Donna had given him as he was climbing into the limo Saturday night. It was not a look he was pleased to have been on the receiving end. He could see the disappointment in her eyes—he knew what she must have thinking. But he wasn't going to live his life any differently than he always had—he had no regrets and owed no explanations. Well, almost.....

 

 

 

The week was going by very slowly. The associates couldn't keep up with Harvey's expectations and his temp, Julie, was barely able to keep Harvey happy---he missed Donna anticipating his needs and.......having his coffee. Donna had been out not only Monday and Tuesday, but Wednesday as well. Thursday morning he'd decided that his week was officially screwed. He was annoyed as he walked past Donna's desk and saw that Julie wasn't there. She was prompt and efficient, just not Donna. Harvey was about to sit down at his desk when out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement at Donna's desk. Assuming it was Julie, he called out without looking;

“Julie, do have a copy of the Mendleson contract?” 

“Well, I'm not sure if Julie does, but I do.” came tersely as Donna dropped the requested contract on Harvey's desk.

“Donna! Nice to see you back. Feeling better?” Harvey asked with eyebrows raised and a smirk in his voice. He knew she hadn't been sick.

“As good as I'm going to get.” she replied as she walked back towards her desk. 

“Why didn't you call me or return any calls?” Harvey was sitting at his desk watching Donna.

“I think we both know why.” Donna stopped before leaving his office. She didn't want to have this conversation where anyone else could hear them. 

“Go on, get it out of your system. I don't want to have to do this more than once.” Harvey stood, his voice hard revealing the fact that he did not want to take any shit from Donna.

Donna closed the door to his office and turned to face her boss.

“God-damn you, Harvey!” Fire was in her eyes. “I don't think I've been as mad at you as I am right now. I should....”

“You think you're going to punish me for some perceived wrong doing? I don't think so, Donna. You have no right.” Harvey's expression was as hard as the tone of his voice. Donna may be his friend, but she had no right to judge and he could see that she'd spent every day since Saturday judging him.

“I have no right? You put me in a shit hole of a place and now Mike,....” she paused, thinking of Mike made her stop.

“What about Mike? This is between you and me. You want to punish me by not coming to work, by not returning my calls, by trying to make me feel guilty about something you know nothing about. I don't think so.”

“NO-----this is about you putting me in a bad spot with Mike. And now he's.........he's pushed me out of his life.” Donna was staring daggers at Harvey trying so hard to keep a hold on her emotions. But remembering how Mike had turned his back on her after telling her never to come back, she couldn't hold it and raised her hand to cover her trembling mouth and chin.

“What do you mean? Did you go see him?” Looking at Donna, Harvey had his answer.  
“WHEN?” Harvey's anger clearly evident in his growl.

“Sunday-----I went to see him Sunday.”

“God-damn it, Donna, why didn't you stay out of it and mind your own fucking business? You had to go and say something to Mike?” Harvey turned away from Donna, he couldn't believe that she would do such a thing, it felt like a betrayal.

“I didn't have to say anything.” Donna paused, staring at Harvey's back. 

“He already knew.” 

Harvey turned back to face her, his eyes wide. Donna could see that revelation stopped Harvey in his tracks. Harvey stood staring and blinking but not seeing anything in front of him.

“And now he never wants to see me again.”

 

By 2pm Thursday afternoon, Julie Short was back at Donna's desk. Donna had informed HR that she still felt ill and needed to go home. She had requested that Julie fill in for her for the rest of the week. She was sure she wouldn't be in the office on Friday. She'd have her doctors office email a signed affidavit from her doctor for her extended absence.

Harvey spent the rest of his week in his office. He kept all appointments previously scheduled but instructed Julie to move any new appointments to the next week. Fortunately, he did not have any court appearances until the following Tuesday. The associates were all on edge, they'd never seen the senior partner so quiet or tolerant. Work still came out of his office in abundance, but not once in those two days was there a negative comment made on the work that was returned to his desk. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harvey felt like a caged animal, prowling and pacing around his penthouse. Too caught up in his own thoughts to go out but too anxious to stay home. He didn't know what to do. He knew he needed to go see Mike, there were so many things he needed to say to him. And at the same time, he didn't want to admit what had happened. Least of all, he didn't want to be on the receiving end of what Mike would say. That surprised him, he didn't back down from a fight. But this wasn't any ordinary fight, this was Mike and he admitted to himself that the last thing he wanted to do with Mike was fight or cause pain.

Francesca had flown back to Paris on Sunday, the day after the charity ball. Harvey had had the whole week alone to think about how to handle things with Mike. But Donna's little revelation hadn't helped, he was hoping he could explain things to Mike without any pre-conceived notions. That was not going to be the case. By Saturday night, he'd finally concluded the only course of action was to go see Mike and be honest with him, about everything. Sleep was in very short supply that night as his mind kept going over everything he need to say to Mike, everything he wanted to say.

 

The drive to Otisville the next day was uneventful. Harvey's thoughts kept returning to the night of the charity ball and all that had happened since then. He only hoped his words wouldn't fail him as he tried to explain things to Mike. 

Harvey had been waiting for Mike for more than 30 minutes in the visitation room. It felt like some of the longest minutes of his life. Harvey heard the door open and raised his head to look in that direction. He watched as three other men filed into the room before he saw Mike. Their eyes met and locked. For the first time that he could remember, he couldn't read the expression in Mike's eyes. He watched as Mike slowly walked over to where he now stood waiting. Harvey opened his mouth to start to say something but Mike shook his head as to say don't say anything. Mike stood and looked into Harvey's eyes; Harvey felt as though he was boring into his soul.

“Go home, Harvey. Don't ever come back here.” 

Mike turned around and walked away as soon as the last syllable was spoken. He didn't look back as he exited the room from the same direction he had entered. Harvey stood watching as Mike's figure retreated, he realized he never got a chance to say a word.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Donna was back at her desk outside Harvey's office on Monday morning. Neither wanted to talk about the arguments or the betrayals; the elephant in the room was simply being ignored for the time being. The week passed with only the most professional of interaction between partner and assistant. For those that didn't know the pair better, they were in awe of how the two had mastered their working relationship into a well oiled machine. For those that did know better, Louis and John were more than just a little worried. Louis watched as the two had gone through more than a few spats before, but this was nothing like what he'd ever previously seen. Both John and Louis knew something had transpired between Harvey and Donna to cause this rift, but both had been rebuked when trying to speak to either party. John wanted to help his friend but knew he needed to stand back and bide his time until either person was ready to sort this out. He only hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

 

 

Harvey drove to Otisville again on Saturday hoping that another week would have allowed Mike time to settle enough for the two of them to speak. Last week's dismissal had hurt but he understood where Mike was coming from. He probably would have reacted the same way. Harvey wanted to tell Mike everything. The need to do so even greater now after having watched Mike just turn away from him last week. He didn't want to leave things unsettled between them.

Harvey found himself once again waiting in the visitation room, becoming more anxious as the minutes pasted. He had a sense that when the door opened this time, Mike would be walking through. His intuition didn't let him down. He watched as Mike walked through the doorway scanning the room. Mike looked tired. 

Mike knew who was here to see him, he didn't even need to check with the guard to confirm. Why he was putting himself through this, he couldn't even explain to himself. He felt stupid for missing Harvey the way he did. He was nothing to Harvey now, he'd moved on, found a beautiful woman that would compliment his life. But his heart still clung to the how he felt with Harvey, the way no one had ever made him feel. But his brain reminded him that their relationship was one sided---Mike was the one to openly express his feelings while laying in wait for Harvey to verbalize what was transpiring between them. Well, he no longer needed to wait. Without words, Harvey loudly and clearly had made it painfully obvious where they stood.

Mike walked into the visitation room and scanned it looking for the person that was both the one he wanted most to see and the one he never wanted to see again. As soon as his gaze found Harvey, he made a snap decision. Mike turned around and walked back out of the room. He wasn't going to put himself through this, his heart and his head hurt enough the way it was. He didn't need any help from Harvey to make himself feel any worse. Stopping at the front desk, he asked the guard on duty to inform Mr. Specter that he should leave for the day, that he would not be returning for any visitation hours. 

 

Harvey watched as Mike turned around as soon as they made eye contact. Harvey had started to call out to Mike and then realized that Mike was leaving the room. His heart sunk as he saw Mike disappear through the door. Rooted to the spot, Harvey just stood and stared at the door as other inmates entered, hoping that Mike would come back. Not wanting to give up, Harvey just stood in wait. He saw Charles greet his wife and then glance his way with a sad expression. Jeannette, however, had only a look of anger for him.

“Mr. Specter, Mike Ross asked that you be informed that he will not be returning for your visit. You may leave.” Harvey turned to look at the guard that was addressing him, not really hearing what was said.

“I'm sorry?”

“Mike asked that you be notified he won't be back in for your visit. He asked that you leave.” The guard was about to leave when he felt a hand on his arm.

“Can you let him know I really need to speak with him? I don't want to leave until we've had a chance to talk.” Harvey's expression was sincere as he tried to convince the guard to get Mike to come back to talk to him.

“I'm sorry sir. The inmates have the choice whether they wish to see whoever shows up for visitation. We don't force them into any visit. Perhaps you can return some other day.” The guard left Harvey to return to his post. Harvey hesitated, looking around the room seeing several faces turned towards him. Realizing his only choice was to leave, Harvey pulled his shoulders back and walked out of the Otisville Correctional Facility. Not feeling any bit of the confidence he projected as he walked out of the building, Harvey sat in his car for a full 20 minutes before having the presence of mind to drive himself back to Manhattan.

 

Mike spent the remainder of the day as alone as he possibly could. He didn't want to discuss his feelings with Jeannette, he didn't want to answer any questions from Curt, he didn't want to see the looks of pity from anyone. He just wanted to be alone. Mike had a favorite corner of the library that he used for times like this; it's quiet, semi-dark and not frequented by many. The semi-darkness helped with his headache. He's been getting frequent headaches again for weeks. Mike recognized that he was falling back into that spiral that he found himself in those first weeks of his incarceration. He rarely slept more than 3 hours, he hardly ate, he had little energy and was closing himself off from everyone. He knew that if he didn't snap out of this soon, he'd need help if he wanted to be healthy. The question---Did he really even care?

 

Curt and Charles watched Mike as the week wore on. Charles saw a despondent young man that was hurting emotionally, so much so that it was becoming physically evident. Curt watched as his friend stopped being the man that he so enjoyed. He saw Mike becoming that man that he met when Mike first arrived in Otisville: aloof and closed off. He watched as Mike returned to the habits that led him to the infirmary---Mike wasn't eating, he wasn't sleeping, Curt knew he was suffering from headaches, stomachaches, fatigue. 

 

“He was like this when he first arrived. He didn't handle the transition into the system well and was all alone.” Curt was discussing Mike's current well-being with Charles as they watched Mike just stare out the window. 

“What do you mean alone? Didn't anyone come to see him?” Charles was appalled the learn that his surrogate son had started his 3-year sentence so alone.

“No. Harvey and Donna didn't show up until he'd been here, what---5,6,7 weeks? By that time, he'd already landed in the infirmary.” Curt shook his head at the memory of seeing Mike fall and hit his head on concrete.

“The infirmary? What happened to him, Curt?”

“He barely ate, barely slept—like he is now. I know he had headaches then too, but he didn't say much about it. I know the physical aspect of the job was wearing on him, it had to. One day it was sleeting, we were working outside trying to keep the walks and access roads free of ice. I didn't see Mike eat anything that day. By late afternoon, he collapsed outside. Hit his head pretty hard on the concrete, it bled really bad. Three of us had to carry him to the infirmary, he was out cold. They kept him there for three days. He was dehydrated and malnourished. Afterwards, they had him on some high protein, high calorie diet to gain weight. I don't know how much he'd lost but the doc was concerned. They had him on a pretty strict routine: meals, supplements, scheduled intravenous fluids. It seemed pretty bad but he just shrugged it off.” Charles could see the concern in Curt's expression as he spoke.

“How....?”

“Harvey showed up. He and Donna finally came to see Mike. I wasn't there to witness it but I heard about it. From what I heard, it started out bad. Harvey came in all pissed and taking it out on Mike. It sounded like he and Donna were going to leave after just a few minutes. But then Harvey turned around and went back to Mike, pulled him into one hell-of-a kiss and then I guess they made up. I don't understand why Mike puts up with his shit.”

Charles smiled at Curt's obvious concern for his friend. “Love makes a man do strange things.”

“Yeah, well, it seems like this love just gets Mike hurt.” Curt turned to take a good look at his friend. Mike hadn't moved one muscle since they'd started talking. “Look at him, Charles. He's so depressed and unhappy. Why can't he let Harvey go?”

“It's hard to let go of the greatest love you've ever known. That's how he described Harvey once. No matter how much pain they may cause, the feeling of their love overshadows the pain you may experience. He's feeling deep pain now, you can see it. But you can also see that he still loves Harvey. I suspect he always will even if he finally lets this go. Don't judge him too harshly, Curt. All we can do is be there to support whatever he decides to do. We'll keep an eye on him and intervene when necessary.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Harvey had never before been so grateful that his week was so busy he barely had time to think. Francesca would be in Paris for the month, maybe longer. Only in the solitude of his bed late at night was he able to allow himself to think of Mike. His mind replayed the way Mike had turned his back and walked away without even saying a word. Harvey continued to think of the things he needed to say to the younger man. He was becoming desperate to explain things to Mike. He would try again this weekend but he really didn't hold much hope at succeeding.

 

Saturday afternoon Harvey found himself once again waiting in the visitation room at the Otisville Correctional Facility. This time Harvey waited near the door that he anticipated Mike entering in hopes of stopping him from turning around and leaving without speaking to Harvey first. As time went by, Harvey was beginning to wonder if Mike knew he was here and wouldn't even bother with the visit. Just as he was about to ask the guard if Mike had been informed of his visitor, Harvey spotted Mike and Curt outside making their way towards the building. They were entering through a side door with a guard, it appeared they had just come off their work detail directly into the visitation room. Mike immediately spotted Harvey across the room as he entered but was blocked from making a quick exit as the room was full of visitors. Harvey rushed to get to Mike before he could get away.

“Mike, I need to talk to you. Please.” 

Mike paused to look into Harvey's eyes for a long time, not saying anything. But his eyes were speaking to Harvey—hurt, confusion, anger, betrayal and more sadness. Mike lowered his eyes and paused once more before turning and walking away without saying a word. 

Charles stepped in front of Harvey effectively blocking his path to Mike's retreat. 

“Harvey, sit down. I'd like to speak with you.” Charles gestured to a pair of chairs near the window.

“Harvey, give him some time. He's hurting. He feels betrayed and at the same time foolish for feeling that way.”

Harvey shook his head as his brows furrow together. “I don't understand, why does he feel foolish for feeling betrayed?”

“He doesn't think he has the right to feel that way, after all, you never promised him anything, isn't that true? You have no commitment to him. You are under no obligation to stand by him, to support him. He knows all this and thinks he's acting like a jilted lover.” Charles watched Harvey closely for a reaction.

Harvey gave Charles a look

“His words—not mine. All of it. He's told me that your relationship was more one sided—he loves you and would commit but that wasn't what you ever wanted. Intellectually, he knows all of this and knows to let it go. But emotionally, well, that's a different story. It's not easy to make yourself stop loving the one person that means the world to you.” Charles paused before adding; “The one person that you've sacrificed everything for.”

Harvey couldn't look Charles in the eyes but Charles could see the battle Harvey was waging with himself. 

“Yes, he did confide some things in me. I know that his being here was his way of saving your career. But he didn't go into further detail and I won't ask. Give him time, he'll be able to speak to you, to see you. Eventually.” Charles' tone was soft and sympathetic. He could see Harvey was pained over this set of circumstances as well as Mike. 

“I need to explain to him. I have so much I need to say to him. I'll be back every week that I can until he'll talk to me. I need him to listen to me.” Harvey's eyes were trained on the pattern on the floor, still unable to look Charles in the eye.

“Why Harvey? Why do you need him to listen? What is so important that you can't walk away without saying this to Mike? Mike described your relationship as one where he wanted more than you could give, what's your point in prolonging this?” Charles was trying to get Harvey to open up so that maybe he could understand Harvey's point of view, if for nothing else, than to try and help Mike.

“It's not something I can say in a letter or an email. I need to do this in person. There is so much I need to explain. Besides, he's returned every letter I've sent---unopened.” Finally, Harvey chanced a glance at Charles hoping the older man would understand.

“Yes, well, he can be stubborn. Go home, Harvey. I'll feel him out this next week and see if we can't get this case closed so that all parties can move on—that includes you. I don't like watching him be self destructive.” Charles stood ready to turn and leave. Harvey quickly reached for Charles wrist to stop him from leaving.

“Wait—what? What are you saying? Is Mike harming himself?” worry clearly heard in Harvey's voice. 

“We're watching and taking care of Mike-don't try and involve yourself anymore than you already are, Harvey.” Charles left Harvey sitting by himself as the older gentleman went to seek out his surrogate son.

 

 

Harvey spent the next week playing phone tag with the Warden trying to get information and updates on Mike. He was worried about Charles' comment about self destruction. But his quest for information was fruitless as the Warden had informed Harvey that he could no longer share information. Weeks ago, Mike had removed Harvey as his emergency contact. The only thing Harvey was able to find out was that Mike no longer had an emergency contact at all, leaving him completely alone in the event that something were to happen to Mike.

 

 

The following Saturday afternoon, Harvey found Mike already sitting with Charles in the visitation room when he arrived shortly after 1pm. Fortunately, Mike had his back to the door and Harvey was able to make his way undetected by Mike. Charles had seen Harvey approach but didn't give away his presence and Mike was surprised when Harvey sat down next to him. Mike started to rise from his chair but Charles reached out a hand to steady Mike. Quickly searching Harvey's expression, Charles found what he was looking for and spoke to Mike.

“Mike, talk to him, listen to what he has to say before you walk away. You need to hear whatever it is he has to say before you can let this go. I can't watch you deteriorate anymore. None of us want to watch that. Just listen to him, son, that's all I ask. We'll be here for you-whatever you need.” Charles gave Mike's a shoulder a squeeze as he got up give them some privacy to talk.

“Mike, I need to explain. I want to...” Harvey couldn't look at Mike as he started to explain.

“Need to what, Harvey? Ease your conscience?” Mike's voice was full of biting sarcasm.

Harvey quickly turned his attention to Mike, “No Mike, that's not what I'm trying to say.” 

“Oh, so you don't even feel guilty? But why should you?” Mike gave a short shake of his head. “You don't owe me any explanations, Harvey. It's not like we made promises to each other, committed to one another. You never told me you loved me. You don't need to explain this.” Mike had to turn away, he didn't want his pain to be seen.

“Mike, I do feel guilty, but not for what you think.”

That remark had Mike turning to Harvey, not believing what he was hearing. “Really? So glad you could have a guilt free fuck. Donna already made apologies for you. The day after the charity ball. So no need for any feelings of guilt on your part.”

“Mike....” 

“Save it. I was a fucking idiot. I'd seen it before that charity ball for months in the society and gossip columns. You and Francesca Zanier. I knew what was happening and chose to ignore it. It was easy to ignore at times because you were hardly ever here—with me. But the photo and the look on Donna's face, that wouldn't let me bury my head in the sand any longer. She actually pretended she didn't know—what a crock of shit.” The pain Mike didn't want seen was easy to hear in his voice.

“Donna didn't know because....”

“Bullshit. Donna always knows. The look on her face told me she knew.” Mike's eyes were drilling into Harvey's, daring him to tell him otherwise.

“She only apologized for what she saw that night.” Harvey had to look away from the pain in Mike's eyes.

“And what did she see that night, Harvey?” 

“Me.......................leaving with Francesa.” Harvey said softly.

“I get it Harvey. I don't need a minute by minute account.” Mike left Harvey sitting at the table and started to walk out of the visitation room.

“Mike, it's not what you think.” Harvey called out after Mike. Harvey quickly rose to follow Mike but was stopped by Curt.

“He doesn't need your lies.” Curt warned as he stepped up closely to Harvey.

“I'm not lying to him. I'm trying to explain.”

“He's hurting in ways you can't see. Let him go—he's hurt enough, he doesn't need to hear how you've moved on while he's in here.” Curt wasn't intimated by Harvey and stood his ground wanting to get his point across. Harvey just looked at Curt and brushed past him hurrying outside, needing to find Mike---now.

Mike had stopped at the small garden not far from the building. This was the one that he had designed and planted in the spring. He took pride in the size and health of the plants and blooms. He had been surprised when he found he actually enjoyed the gardening aspect of his work duty. Working with the plants actually calmed him. He was pruning as Harvey came up behind him.

“Francesca and I met when Scott needed help closing her father to bring their company to the firm. We ended up attending some of the same social functions. After a while, we just started going together—she needed an escort, I didn't want to go alone.” Harvey stood behind Mike as he started the one-sided conversation.

“I don't need to hear this, Harvey.” Mike kept his back to Harvey, not wanting to see Harvey's expressions as he spoke of Francesca.

“We became friends. You'd like her, she's intelligent and witty.”

“And you told me it was always business—you lied to me.”

“It started out that way. You know entertaining clients is part of the game, Mike.”

“Yes, well, you always play the game to win. You played this one well. Wealthy heiress, beautiful and smart. Well done, Harvey. You've said enough. Go home Harvey.” Mike was barely able to say the words, squeezing his eyes shut to try and block out the images in his mind.

“Not until you hear everything.” Harvey wasn't going to stop now that he'd started. He need to explain everything to Mike.

“I don't need.....I don't WANT to hear anymore.” Mike almost shouted at Harvey.

“That night, of the the charity ball, Francesca was my date. It was last minute. She hadn't planned on being in the city. Two days before the ball, she was back in the states. She was meeting with Louis on their financial strategy after acquiring a Belgium firm. Louis asked her if she was staying to attend the fund raiser. I was obligated to ask her to go.” Harvey had been softly pacing behind Mike as he spoke.

“What a hardship that must have been for you.”

“The day of the ball I was going through my older valet chest—you know the one where I keep things that I don't wear that often. I was looking for my dad's cufflinks. I found the tickets to the Blue Note, from that night you surprised me with dinner at La Lanterna de Vittorio and then the tickets for Jane Monheit at the Blue Note. The charity ball was exactly one year from that night.” Harvey got lost in the memories of that night.....

_Mike had surprised Harvey with dinner at La Lanterna de Vittorio - a romantic spot in the village and they ate outside in the garden under the dense green canopy of apple and cherry trees and the worn walls strung with ivy. Harvey usually didn't care for outward public romantic gestures, but he could deny Mike nothing that night, the smile on his face made Harvey want to give him the moon. Dinner had been exquisite and Mike refused to let Harvey pay—Harvey was his date and Mike had their evening planned. Next was the Blue Note—a jazz vocalist that Harvey had recently discovered was singing that night and Mike was lucky enough to get them tickets without Harvey knowing anything about it. They had stayed until the club closed, they were having such a good time. The evening had been perfect, both men enjoying themselves and each other. Even though they had returned to Harvey's penthouse, Mike continued to steer their date as he showed Harvey just how much he wanted him, starting slow with soft, caressing kisses as he undressed Harvey on the way to the bedroom. As he unveiled more and more skin, Mike couldn't help be deepening his kisses, almost desperate to touch. Harvey was the one usually in control but tonight, he was happy to let Mike take the reins and set the pace. Mike worshiped Harvey's body as though he was memorizing every inch. Harvey's senses were on overload and had to close his eyes to only feel, he couldn't watch Mike as it became too intense. When he finally realized Mike was no longer touching him, Harvey opened his eyes to find Mike prepping himself causing Harvey to moan in open want. Sheathing Harvey's cock with a condom, Mike slowly impaled himself, moving so slowly, they could feel every inch. Harvey's grip on Mike's hips was so tight but it felt so right that Mike put his own hands over Harvey's to keep him anchored. They started out slow, wanting to prolong this connection but lust and longing soon overtook them. Mike had his hands on Harvey's chest to steady himself as they found a frantic pace, both trying to provide the ultimate pleasure for their partner. Mike came first as Harvey hit his prostate with every thrust. But only a few thrusts later and Harvey was sent over the edge by the incredible feel of Mike's tightness. Mike stayed entangled with Harvey as he drifted off, Harvey simply enjoying the aftermath. But the things that Harvey remembered most of that night, were the things Mike said as he fell asleep. He heard Mike say how much he loved Harvey, how much he wanted to make Harvey happy, how safe Harvey made him feel. Harvey especially remembered how perfect that night had been._

“I remembered that night and it made me miss you, it made me so damn lonely.” Harvey turned away from Mike but continued ,

“Francesca was very attentive that night. She looked stunning and she focused on me and nothing else. It felt so damn good to have someone in my arms. I missed you so much.”

“Enough! I don't want to hear this, you don't need to torture me.” Mike's voice cracked as he tried to hold back the tears. 

Harvey turned back towards Mike, even though the younger man refused to look at him.  
“Francesca kissed me and I returned the kiss. I wanted someone in my arms.”

Mike turned even farther away from Harvey, trying not to hear the words.

“I wanted you but she was there. Then she asked me to take her home and we left. I took her to her hotel. She poured wine for us. She told me how much she wanted me.”

“STOP, please.” Mike couldn't stop the tears and his voice was barely louder than a whisper. “I don't want to hear this, I don't need to hear this.”

“She was taking off my jacket and for some reason reached into the pocket. She was surprised by what she found and I realized what she had in her hand. It stopped me in my tracks and took my breath away.”

Mike still had his back to Harvey with his arms wrapped around his chest. He felt as though he was holding himself together but not sure how long he could last.

“I didn't want her to touch it. I didn't want anyone else to touch it. It means so much to me – I can't stand to share it.” Harvey stood still, staring at the object in his hand.

“One look at my face and she gave it back to me. She simply asked 'who?' ” Harvey turned away from Mike lost in his own thoughts. “It took a while for me to explain to her what this means to me.”

Mike turned to see what Harvey was talking about, curiosity now getting the better of him. His brow furrowed in confusion. “What are you doing with my watch?”

Harvey slowly turned to face Mike. “I carry it with me every day. I have since that day you turned yourself in and left.”

“I don't understand.”

“It's the only thing I can have of you with me, something of you that I can touch. Sometimes it's the only thing that gets me through the day.” Harvey hadn't looked at Mike as he spoke, instead looking at the symbol of Mike that was his constant companion.

Mike was still looking confused at Harvey waiting for him to explain.

“I stopped your watch that morning, to remind myself of the time and date that you were taken from me so I'd never forget. So that I could keep track of when you'd be back. No one else had touched this watch since you left except me.” Harvey looked at Mike trying to convey what he felt. “It's what I use to hang onto you.”

Turning away from Mike, Harvey continued; “I told Francesca I was sorry. I shouldn't have mis-led her. I didn't return the same feelings that she had but I was feeling particularly lonely that night. I didn't mean to use her, it's just............earlier, when I found those ticket stubs and all the memories of that night, it was exactly one year. I had been remembering the night we had and..”

“Seriously? You got cock-blocked by my watch?” Mike gave Harvey a smirk and almost smiled.

Dropping his head and looking at Mike through his lashes, Harvey quietly replied, “Not the watch, the memories of you. Of what I feel for you.”

“And just what do you feel, Harvey? You said you felt guilty. My being here is not your fault.” Mike was starting to get very frustrated. “If this is all about feeling guilty, then let it go, move on. I don't need your guilt or your pity. I made my own choices and so have you.”

“Mike,...”

“Harvey, go home. Let it go. Go figure out your relationship with Francesca. I'm sure she's forgiven you for that one night. Pick up where you left off. Shit. What am I saying, that was weeks ago. I'm sure she's completely satisfied by now.” Mike turned away not wanting Harvey to see his disappointment.

“Mike, I don't feel anything for Francesca other than friendship. I enjoy her company, that's all. But you, you're like this weight on my chest---sometimes I can't breath when I think of you. Sometimes I get so mad thinking of you, I get confused.”

“Then let it go, Harvey. Go exercise your friends with benefits with Francesca. Just leave me out of it. GO HOME!”

“Damn-it Mike! I didn't sleep with Francesca.”

“Yeah, good story to tell the kids someday of how...”

“I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH HER – EVER” Harvey shouted, he wanted to make Mike understand.

That stopped Mike cold. He stared at Harvey and saw nothing but the truth in his eyes. 

“I haven't been intimate with anyone but you since you and I started seeing each other. This whole time you've been here has been me and my right hand. That's what I've been trying to tell you.” Harvey let out a frustrated snort as he shook his head.

Mike continued to stare at Harvey, his mouth opening and closing wanting to say something but the words wouldn't come.

“I can't, you mean too much to me. I lay awake at night staring at the ceiling. You're so far away and I'm so alone I can barely stand it. When I do sleep, I wake up calling your name. Don't you see what I'm saying?” Harvey was practically pleading with Mike to understand.

“No, you always talk in vague generalities. I'm tired of trying to figure out what you're saying Harvey.” Mike started to walk away, back towards the building.

“I'm saying I love you. I'm saying it out loud—to you.” Harvey stood looking at the ground. He'd just bared his soul to Mike and it was uncomfortable. He didn't like being vulnerable with anyone.

Mike stopped walking, he just stood with his back to Harvey. He wasn't sure whether he should believe his ears. And he'd been so angry, was this supposed to wipe away all the pain? Could those three words, the phrase he'd wanted to hear from Harvey for so long, could they make up for everything? Mike kept his back to Harvey, his heart warring with his head, not sure what to believe and yet, desperately wanting to believe in Harvey.

“I said I love you. I'm in love with _you_ , Mike.” Harvey stood watching Mike, hoping he'd turn around. Hoping for some reaction. The longer he stood there, the more vulnerable he felt. It took all his fortitude not to run away. Mike stood so close to him but it felt like Mike was out of his reach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sincere apologies at how long it took for this chapter. I don't think it's in Harvey's character to cheat on someone he is in a relationship with and didn't mean to leave you hanging with that impression for so long. 
> 
> Your comments were certainly full of emotion over the last chapter and it certainly does an amateur writer's heart good to inspire that kind of passion for a little piece of fiction spawned from their imagination. Thanks so much for reading. :-)


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